Woodlawn CC

Woodlawn CC

Thursday, August 29, 2013

"All Our Losses / All Our Griefs" Chapter One



Chapter One: The Pervasiveness of Loss and Grief

Experiences that evoke grief are both more frequent and more varied than most people imagine. The death of a person one loves is such an obvious occasion of grief that many people have come to think of it as the only such occasion. The result of that misunderstanding is that many people have experienced lengthened suffering from unrecognized grief.

Our first task in this book is to explore the genesis of grief: to understand what can cause grief and how that cause has its roots in childhood experience. We begin the exploration with several vignettes, each a tale of grief triggered by a significant loss, but none having to do directly with the death of a loved person. 

"All Our Losses / All Our Griefs" by Mitchell & Anderson


The authors then lay out for us three short vignette's. One covers a man returning to his old hometown to find everything changed and that his old friends don't recognize him any longer.

The second covers a man who is promoted out of a job he loves and into one he dislikes. He is also transferred from a smaller city to a much larger city.

The third involves a Church in need of a new building but a church which has a strong historical and personal attachment to their current building.

This first chapter is very short and really serves to make the reader sit back and reexamine their definition of grief. Or perhaps more accurately to force the reader to expand the incidents that they recognize as bringing about a sense of loss or grief.

Grief is something that we just cannot escape in life. We all experience it at some point and in varying degrees. Right now our little family is going through a period of loss, though not a death it's impact is none the less significant in the life of our family.

With Madeline now off to college Gail and I are left as 'empty nesters'. Our loss is the loss of what has been constant all the way through our marriage. No longer is the day to day focus of our lives together revolving around one or more of our children.

When Gail and I got married we learned very shortly that we were expecting our first child (our son Creath) so the marriage immediately became focused on the soon to be arrival of our child. Ever since then we have always had the children around, when Creath moved out there was a noticeable disturbance in the 'force' that is our family, however we still had Maddie there with us. This year with Creath moving into his own apartment and Maddie going off to college it's impossible for us to ignore that our family has grown up and no longer is either Gail or my primary focus raising our children.

Given that we had such a short amount of time in our relationship together that there were no children it's interesting and a bit frightening seeing how our relationship is adapting to this change. I hope that we are making the transition in a healthy way though there have honestly been times when both of us have been frustrated. I do think that Gail is honestly having a harder time adjusting to life without her children around than I am.  Which is a bit surprising, as I've been the one vocally dreading an empty nest for the last several years. (I have even been lobbying to adopt a child which hasn't gone over to rave reviews) Perhaps that is why she is struggling more than I, I've already dealt partially with the grief caused by the loss whereas Gail has brushed it off and tried to avoid it.

At this point in my life I had planned to already be a grandparent. Which in some ways is a loss of a dream but actually hopefully, merely a postponement of a dream.  I have however repeatedly informed my children that they must marry blue-eyed blondes, which when questioned on that I have informed them that I have always dreamed of having blue-eyed blonde grandchildren.  They both have repeatedly rolled their eyes at me, none the less I do continue to assert my desires on that front.  If one has a dream you do have to act on it, after all I really do want to see all those cute little blonde grand babies someday.

After this short review of the first chapter of the book, just stop for a second and think about some losses you've had in your life that didn't involve a death but that involved a major change in your life.

The loss of a job, status, or just a dream. Honestly I think that the loss of a dream just might be the most damaging loss that we can endure. Of course all too often when we have a death in our family it not only involves the grief of the death but it is also wrapped up in the loss of a dream. A spouse dies just before the other spouse retires and all those dreams of post retirement travel are now gone, a child dies and all those dreams of watching them grow up, getting married and having children of their own are now gone with them.

In one post last year I mentioned that I had always wanted my Grandmother Karlen to see and hold my children. Grandmother always made a big fuss about her great and great-great grandchildren, and I wanted to see her face when she held my own child. When the day came that she passed away and I had not yet had a child, that dream died with her. I felt a great range of emotions over that loss and ultimately that loss shaped the remainder of my life more than any other event in my life.

I have picked up two more copies of this book in order to be able to loan them out as needed.  In fact just yesterday I dropped off a copy of this book for a friend who has suffered the loss of a loved one.  When I stopped in to drop it off, he was already gone for the day so I left the book with his receptionist.  As I talked to her, I learned that she was struggling with loss and grief in her life and she asked if she could take the book home and read it that night before giving it to my friend.  I told her to please do so, and that it was not a problem at all.  Honestly this little book is a fast read as well as being short so I have no doubt she'll pour through it in one evening, especially since she says she is a very fast reader.  After talking with her about her situation for a bit I gave her a blessing and left, wishing I'd have had the foresight to have brought an additional copy with me.

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts this book brings is the reinforcement of the realization that we all are suffering with some loss and some grief, nearly all of the time.  And that we are certainly going to be coming into contact with somebody daily, who is also suffering.  If we can somehow keep this thought in mind perhaps we'll all be more understanding of each other and forgiving as well.

I'll try to get a summary of Chapter Two up yet this week.

May you all be blessed and well.

In His Grace,

Roy 


Monday, August 19, 2013

All Our Losses / All Our Griefs

This is the start of my blogging about the wonderful little book by Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson entitled "All Our Losses / All Our Griefs"

I'll start this series off by quoting for you the entire 'Forward' from the book and then next I'll go through the book chapter by chapter.  I will however just give a few quotes from each chapter and then give you all an overview along with my own personal thoughts about each chapter.

So here we go, I hope you all enjoy this series of blogs and I assure you that you won't go wrong purchasing this little book.

In His absolute Grace & Love,
Roy

All Our Losses / All Our Griefs

Forward:

This is a book about loss: how serious personal losses take place, why we react to loss as we do, how many important forms of loss go unnoticed, how we can recover from the impact of loss, and how we can help others to recover from loss.  So far we know, no other approach to the subject of grief has made use of resources similar to ours; furthermore, we have emphasized elements of loss in situations that do not at first appear to be situations of loss and grief.  What we have tried to accomplish in the following pages consists of several elements.

First, our resources.  For years, both of us have been collecting statements about loss and grief from a wide variety of persons: our friends, our parishioners, our students.  By the time we agreed to collaborate on this book, we had amassed records of more than a thousand experiences of loss.  We sifted through those records, allowing those with whom we worked to become our teachers.  What we have written here comes largely from them.  Some of our material is theoretical, but this book essentially comes from the losses and griefs of those who have trusted us with their experiences.

Second, it is our conviction that grief is a normal response to significant loss: grieving is not, as some writers have suggested, evidence of sickness or disease.  It is something to live through rather than to cure.  It is no more pathological than the rush of adrenalin experienced when one has narrowly escaped danger.  Grief is a normal response.  It is a disservice to grieving persons to interpret their feelings and behavior as though there were a warp in their psychological makeup, or a deficiency in their spiritual formation.

Third, we are convinced that many people, including such potential helpers as Christian pastors, are unaware of the many kinds of loss that are an ordinary part of life.  Grief is usually thought of as a response to the death of a loved one.  That is, to be sure, the most profound and personal form that loss takes for most people.  Powerful as that death of a loved one is, it is not death that teaches us what loss and grief are.  We learn about loss much earlier in life; it comes, in fact, before we know much about death at all.  Death is only one form of loss.  Our purpose is to help caring persons become more sensitive to the man instances in life when a "grief ministry" is called for.  We have intended to be thorough in our attention to this aspect, considering not only such losses as death and divorce, but also less easily noticeable experiences that involve significant loss.

Fourth, we also intend this book to be squarely within the discipline of pastoral theology.  There are several books on funerals and on ministering to the bereaved which are good indicators of "what to do".  There are other good books designed to help grief sufferers work their way through the grieving process.  As pastoral theologians, we have drawn upon the resources both of theology and of the human sciences to guide both private and public ministries with those who grieve.  We have included in one volume three questions that have often been dealt with separately: (1) Why do people grieve, or what is the genesis of grief in human life? (2) What are the dynamics of grief and the characteristics of grieving? (3) How can we help those who grieve?  That scope is part of the uniqueness of this book.

Although our original intention was to produce a source for the teaching of pastoral care in seminaries, we have also written this book as a resource  for all persons who care about others suffering from loss and grief.  We believe that pastoral work and mourners is the work of the congregation, not just of certain professionals.  Thus, this book is intended for any person who wants to understand loss and grief, whether to minister to others or to come to terms with one's own experience.



Friday, August 16, 2013

Our Last ELM class is complete. Just a paper to complete and graduation awaits...

I have no idea where this little Church is located
but I love the composition of this photo and the emotion
it invokes.  WmRoy Karlen
Well last Thursday, Friday and Saturday marked our last class for the 'Educating Lay Ministry' program.  My last class was over Presbyterian History & Polity, and all that is left to complete this class and the entire 'ELM' experience is to write a 7 page paper.  This class was held at the St. Benedict Center near Schuyler, NE.  The retreat there is just so serene, it's a wonderful place to stay and become refueled and renewed.

It was sad to end our last class, next is the graduation in October and then the reality that at least a few of us will likely never see each other again.  It has been a very interesting experience these last three years.  One in which I've seen myself grow and change a great deal.  My personal theological beliefs have changed considerably in this time.  This change is definitely for the better and it has been due to a combination of the ELM classes, life experiences both current and in looking back in meditative reflection on things long ago as well as reflections on the mentor ship of my late friend Jesse.  But to be honest the hand that shoved me off the cliff so to speak was a voice (in an e-mail actually) from the past bearing grace where grace was certainly not deserved.  For numerous reasons I cannot and will not go into more detail; but suffice to say that it was the greatest display of human grace I have personally experienced or witnessed.

Lately I have had so very many tragedies strike for folks around me.  Numerous diagnoses for cancer, deaths, abuse, family disruptions, divorce and hospitalizations.  My prayer list has expanded profoundly, so much that a couple of times at night I have fallen asleep as I was still praying my way through the list.  Part of this is a function of my age I'm sorry to say.  At this stage in life not only are my friends parents subject to disease and death, but my friends and contemporaries all too often are contracting disease and far too many have succumbed to their illnesses.  It's also a time where not only are my friends subject to divorce but they also have children who may have marital issues and become divorced.  Until one is older one fails to fully grasp the impact of marital unrest and divorce outside the immediate couple and their children.

For that reason I have taken my own advice and started once more reading through the book "All Our Losses / All Our Griefs".  I have mentioned this book several times in this blog and I will again say it is one of the most revelatory books I have ever read.  It is such a profound little book (it's only 173 pages) that I've decided that starting this week I will blog about it.  Starting with my next post I will go chapter by chapter through the book with direct quotes and then my personal reflections upon it.

I hope you'll like what I share enough that you'll run out and get a copy (or more they are well worth sharing) for yourself.

In His Love & Unending Grace!
Roy



Wednesday, July 31, 2013

On Death



Yesterday morning I had to take Maddie to the Dentist as she's starting to get her wisdom teeth in already.  Our Dentist and my good friend Paul Bacino gave her a script for an antibiotic as she had some swelling in the lymph nodes in her neck and he wanted that cleared up before she had oral surgery for the tooth that is coming in.  

While waiting for the script to be filled I ran into Dwayne Slunicko who told me that Kathy Stinson, a friend of ours and the companion of our landlord Dale Slunicko had passed away earlier that morning.  She had been in the Hospice House for the last few days, but she had been battling cancer for many, many years.  Kathy was always a wonderful lady and my wife Gail always thought the world of her and had made it a priority to pray for Kathy's health all these many years.  

I was very sad to hear of her passing but at the same time one cannot help but feel a sense of joy for her.  As I told Dwayne, we morn for ourselves as we miss having our loved one with us but I said to him "imagine the wonderful day she is having today".  Praise God that she is no longer in pain and she is now in his all loving, all gracious, and all encompassing embrace.  Ours should always be tears of joy for the beauty and love that our loved one is experiencing at that moment of passing from this world into the next.  A world that I nor anyone else can tell you what it exactly is like, all I can tell you is it's a world where we are reunited with the Almighty and whatever that is like has to be amazing!

Here is a link to Kathy's short obituary.  Much, much more could have been said about her and I'm sure given the circumstances she may likely have written this or at the very least reviewed it before her death.  She was a lovely lady and Gail and I shall miss her in this world, but we look forward to seeing her again in the next.

Obituary for Kathy Stinson


At the Gallery we frequently have people bring in mementos of loved ones that they've recently lost.  Today an elderly lady came in with a certificate that she wanted framed.  The certificate was her brother's for his Masters degree in Music.  She had just returned home from attending his funeral in Florida and she said it was the only thing from him that she now had.  

We picked out the framing for it and she gave me the go ahead on the order.  Afterwards she just wandered around the Gallery looking at the art, but she returned to the order counter several times to touch the certificate and look at it with very sad eyes.  Finally she said goodbye and I gave her a short blessing and told her to take care of herself.  It was so sad to see her and how difficult it was for her to leave behind the only thing she had of her brother.  One of the rewards of what we do is helping people to preserve their precious memories and memorabilia.

As I drive to and from work each day I pass a small mortuary.  It seems that recently they have viewings or services pretty much each day.  (In fact I've done this for the last two nights in a row) Every time I go by and the lot is full of cars I shut off my radio and say out loud a short prayer for the friends, family and loved ones of the departed individual.  Praising God for His grace and asking for comfort for all those who cared for and are grieving the loss of their loved one.

For me death has seemed to always define my own life.  I've always made a point of going to funerals of those I've known as for whatever reason it is very important to me to pay my last respects.

Of course we really don't go to funerals for the person that has passed rather we either go for ourselves or for the other friends, family and loved ones of the deceased.  But none the less I have always had the incredible compulsion to go to the services of my family, friends and loved ones.  My older brother Merrill and his wife Karen and I even traveled all the way to New Mexico to attend the service and internment of my father's older brother Elton Karlen.

I can think back to funeral's that have really had impacts on me and I can outline transformations in my own life.  Some were good, some were very bad, some helped me focus my life, some left me wandering and unsettled.  Death is sometimes just as transforming to the living as the dead.  If we are aware of this power that it has over us, perhaps we can then make sure that it is always for the best and not something destructive.

A great tool towards that end is the book; "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" by Kenneth Mitchell & Herbert Anderson.  It's one of the best books I've read thus far and one I truly need to go back and read again.

The book "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" on Amazon.

If nothing else witnessing a death is a wake up call to all the rest of us, to always tell those whom you love that you do love them.  As none of us is assured of tomorrow, at least not tomorrow in this world.

In His Love & Grace Always,
Roy

Monday, July 22, 2013

35th Class Reunion and meeting with an old college friend.

Class of 1978 Chamberlain, SD
Photo taken 7/13/2013 at the Reunion Banquet
WmRoy Karlen photo
Well.... last weekend (July 12 & 13) was my 35th High School Reunion back in good old Chamberlain, South Dakota.  It's hard to believe it's been 35 years ago that I graduated from High School.  At times when I think back it seems like it was so long ago but then other times I remember going off to SDSU (South Dakota State University) in the fall like it was yesterday.  In fact I think I was going to my freshman orientation pretty close to 35 years ago from right about now.  That was a great time so exciting and I remember vividly the dance we had there in the evening.  Which honestly seems odd to think of because neither of my kid's had dances for their orientation sessions.  Of course Creath went to a Baptist College so that's understandable and UNL (University of Nebraska in Lincoln) is so very big that I suppose they couldn't really pull something like that off.

Class of 1978 Chamberlain SD
Photo taken 7/13/2013
WmRoy Karlen Photo

Class of 1978 Chamberlain SD
Photo taken 7/12/2013
WmRoy Karlen Photo
I'm not sure exactly how many of my classmates actually made it home for the reunion as some were there for the gathering on Friday night that didn't make it to the events on Saturday and some just showed up Saturday for the 'official photo' at the Banquet.  Unfortunately though we had more folks at the Friday night event and more at the bar on Saturday night than were in the photo at the banquet.  Looking at the photos it looks like 22 of us were actually captured on film which isn't a bad showing for a class of 98 people.  It was a great gathering and I enjoyed visiting with folks I really only see every few years.  Some of them I don't think I'd seen since our graduation day to be honest.  

Friday night I spent quite a bit of time talking to my good friend Greg Powell who of course I have kept in contact with and whom I talk to on the phone on a fairly regular basis.  Greg's wife Terri and my wife Gail spent a good part of the evening on Friday night visiting while Greg and I focused on our classmates and they decided that we should make arrangements sometime to meet in Sioux Falls for dinner or something.  That would be great as we both just love Greg and Terri and we so rarely get to spend time together.  Saturday night the Powell's were in Sioux Falls to attend the wedding for Greg's younger brother Brad's oldest daughter.  I haven't seen Brad since College but from what Greg tells me he's doing very well and has a great family.  

I was asked to give the invocation at the banquet which I was happy to do for all the alumni.  Shared some of my own words along with a prayer adapted from the writings of St. Francis of Assisi.

While in Chamberlain we stayed with and had a great visit with my older brother Merrill Jr. and his wife Karen.  Jr. and I went out on Saturday to see Mother at the Ranch and she coerced us each into having a slice of pecan pie (didn't take much effort on her part for me as this is my favorite kind of pie and nobody makes it like Mother) as well as a slice of fresh strawberry pie.  Mother has always baked great pies and it has sad to say been too many years since I've gotten up to enjoy one.  We had a nice visit with her and my sister Laura who now lives with Mother.

On Sunday we went to Church with Jr. and Karen at the United Church of Christ in Chamberlain.  Their new Pastor seems like a good guy and gave a good sermon even though I was very tired from staying up late the night before.  I always enjoy visiting the UCC in Chamberlain as it brings back many memories from my youth.

While Gail and I went up to attend my reunion Creath came home from Sioux Falls to babysit the cats and dogs here at home.  Otherwise there would be nobody here to let the girls out since Madeline and her friend Danielle were still working their way back to Omaha from Maine where they had spent a little over a week with Danielle's grandparents.  Maddie got to go into New York City and Boston while she was back east.  They had a great time with Danielle's family there and Danielle's grandparents just loved Maddie to pieces.  They told her she was welcome to come and stay with them anytime even without Danielle.  The grandfather is a big collector of albums and he gave Maddie several old classic rock albums, among them two Foreigner albums which I threatened to snatch from her.

Madeline made it home late on Saturday the 13th and had a chance to have a good visit with Creath before he headed back to Sioux Falls on Sunday afternoon.  He left before we made it back home from Chamberlain but left his car with us which needed some work done and drove my car back to Sioux Falls.  So I had his car repaired this past week and yesterday (July 21st) Gail and I drove up to Sioux Falls and traded cars with him.  We had intended to attend Church in Sioux Falls but we forgot to set the alarm and over slept so we didn't get to Sioux Falls until 12:30 and we just took Creath out for lunch at the Old Chicago.  We didn't get to visit with him for very long unfortunately as he had to go into work.  Gail and I did a bit of shopping (I know, LOL we come from Omaha and go shopping in Sioux Falls) and left Sioux Falls a little after 2:00 pm.

I had earlier in the week contacted one of my old college buddies Kirk Jensen who lives near Beresford, SD.  It seems that whenever we go up North we're always rushing to get home and I never have a chance to drop in and see Kirk.  It had been many, many years since I'd seen him last and honestly both of us have had major life changes since then.  Well this trip I knew we would only be in Sioux Falls a short time and we had nothing pressing to get back to Omaha for so it was the perfect time to try and get together with Kirk.  

We spent about three hours visiting with Kirk and his wife LaJean, and had a wonderful visit.  Enjoyed the rhubarb cobbler with ice cream as well as the great deal of reminiscing that Kirk and I did while our wives visited.  Gail and LaJean seemed to get along well which was good because Kirk and I seemed to quickly settle back into our old relationship.  We even discussed politics and religion and just as we have never agreed we were able to be great friends and enjoy the conversation.  Interestingly enough we have now traded places with Kirk now being the more conservative and me being to the left of him on several topics.  LOL, I would have never guessed that would happen.  

Was great seeing you Kirk and meeting your lovely wife.  I sure hope we're able to keep in touch better than we have for the last 31 years.  Perhaps I'll see if we can work out getting Mr. Forman and Mr. Powell to meet with Kirk and I sometime, it would be even better if we could convince my old roommate Kent Haselhorst to meet with us all.  I genuinely miss all of you guys so much and would thoroughly enjoy a gathering such as that.

Kirk Jensen of Beresford, SD & Roy Karlen of Omaha, NE
Looking good there Kirk!
July 21, 2013
WmRoy Karlen photo
Gail drove all the way up to Sioux Falls and part of the way back so I used that time to do some reading and writing for ELM.  Our next (and last class) for ELM is in Schuyler, NE and it will be a three day session on Presbyterian Polity.  That will be the last gathering for us and then there will just be the graduation in Grand Island which will only be a couple hours long.

We got back into Omaha about 8:15 pm last night and after being gone all day and being so late we decided to just go out to eat so we stopped at the house for just a minute and then slipped over to Applebee's.  I have to laugh at us as we always complain that the kids only ever want to eat at either Applebee's (Maddie) or Chili's (Creath) and here when we have a chance to go someplace else we default to Applebee's.  LOL, well we both were very tired and didn't know what all would be open at that time on a Sunday night so it was just easier to go somewhere familiar.  Once Maddie is off to UNL we have planned to go out to eat on either Saturday or Sunday each week and to try different places.  I keep saying I'm going to start writing down places that I see or hear of that I'd like to try but of course I'm yet to get around to doing that.

Today marks four months to my 54th birthday so starting this week I am now training towards that date.  I of course was training up to my reunion (though I missed my goal body weight by 5 lbs) but since then I've let myself relax a bit and didn't adhere to my diet last week very well (put on 3 pounds too) and I only went to the gym twice last week.  Though I did hit every bodypart once.  This week I am kicking off a different regime focusing on somethings that I feel are lacking.  

Last week I did regular barbell bench presses for the first time in almost two years.  I've avoided them due to my shoulder injuries but I've brought my grip in a bit and I'm hoping that will be enough of a change to allow me to use this movement again.  I don't have any problems doing close grip barbell benches so I'll keep my fingers crossed.  For the last couple of years I've used barbell incline bench presses with a wide grip as the backbone of my chest routine for the most part.  By doing this I've managed to accomplish something that few ever do and that is that now my upper pectorals overshadow my lower pectoral.  Of course there really isn't an upper or lower pectoral but the way the muscle bellies develop it gives that appearance.  Most lifters focus on regular benches so much that they never build a decent upper chest.  I've kind of gone the other direction and will now try to rectify that by trying to bench again as well as throwing back in weighted dips along with continuing to do machine flies.

I have also modified my workout to focus more on deltoid training as my delts have never been to my liking.  On the night when I train delts I also train arms but I will lead off with delts and then at the end finish the workout with another set of delts.  It would make my day if I could get them to finally respond to training the way I'd like, my problem is my body is so pectoral and trapezius dominant that training my deltoids is always difficult.

I'm working on developing an online ministry project, however that is in the discussion and investigation stages and I'm not ready to announce that I've undertaken this project.  It may well be that the liability issues will not allow us to launch this project but I'm praying that I'll be able to work it out and that with the kind assistance of others from all over the world we'll be able to do some good for the world.  But again, I and the others I've contacted about this are uncertain about our own liabilities in doing this so we're trying to determine this before going any further.

I've been working a little bit every night sorting and shelving Jesse's books.  I put up the equivalent of eight 5 shelf bookcases and it looks like I will need to get three more 3 shelf bookcases.  I'll put these under the window in the basement and I'm hoping to slip away this afternoon and pick those up at the Furniture Mart.  That should give me enough room for all of Jesse's books along with what I already had on my own.  The hardest part is deciding how to organize them in a fashion where I'll be able to locate them if I'm working on a particular topic.

I'm anxious to get my library all set up as I'd like to be able to sit in the recliner I've put in there and spend time reading.  In sorting through the books I'm finding far, far too many that I want to read immediately.  LOL

May this week find you all richly blessed and thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my ramblings.

In God's absolute and unending Love & Grace,
Roy

What a beautiful country church, I wish I knew where it is.
WmRoy Karlen

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Prayers for friends and loved ones.

There can be do greater calling than to be called forth to
service to our Lord.  All of us Christians receive this calling,
will you respond?
Well this week has started off as a challenging one already.  However mixed within it all have been some moments of joy and celebration.

Sunday afternoon I went to Sunset Hills Baptist Church to witness the Ordination Celebration for my good friend (the new) Reverend Jason Workman.  Jason has taken a nontraditional path to ordination and this event was the culmination of many years of work and study for Jason.  I'm very proud of Jason and I can only hope to someday be half the man he is as an advocate of Christ.

Sadly though afterwards in visiting with my friend Tasha Helms I learned that my mentor Rev. Robert Molby's wife Fayetta had been taken to the hospital just that morning.  Fayetta has just recently been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.  I had already been trying to work my way over to talk to Bob about Fayetta but as soon as I learned this Tasha and I both immediately sought him out to learn more and to give what little comfort we might be allowed to give through God's assistance.  At that time Bob had little information other than she had been in considerable pain that morning and so he took her to the Emergency Room at Lakeside Hospital.  This morning I see on Bob's Facebook page that she has a bladder infection and some internal bleeding from an unknown source.  The Doctor's are hopeful though that she'll be home for the fourth.  Bob and Fayetta are blessed with a wonderful family and I know that their children and grandchildren will be happy to have Fayetta home with them to celebrate.  Please pray for Fayetta and for her treatments both for the cancer, the infection and for whatever is causing the bleeding.

Yesterday morning I awoke to some very sad news.  My friend and gym mate Brandon Stewart (who owns New Dawn Nutrition here in Omaha) posted that he had lost his Mother.  Brandon's Mother put in a three year battle with Pancreatic Cancer and I am deeply saddened because Brandon and I had been discussing how he and his brother were going to take some time off and go and spend a few days with their Mom.  Brandon is a Professional Men's Physique Competitor and has just done two (a week apart) back to back National shows.  In the first one in Las Vegas he finished at the top of his class and took second overall, at the second show (the larger of the two) in Los Angeles, he won his class and won the overall.  Brandon dedicated his win on Saturday to his Mom and I am so sorry and sad that he wasn't able to get down to see her in time.  I'm not sure if he talked to her after his win but I pray that he was able to.  Please pray for Brandon and his whole family I know he is genuinely hurting, even when you know the time is short it still is a terrible blow to lose a parent.

Never pass up a chance to visit your parents or children.  None of us knows how much time we have left in this world and don't put things off until it's just too late.  I'll be going back home myself for my 35th High School Reunion in about a week and a half and I will now make doubly sure to go and spend a bit of time talking to Mom.  I am very fortunate in that my own Mother is in excellent health (nothing like good genes!) but nonetheless she will be 87 in just a bit over a month and that's a good age for anyone man or woman.  I pray I'll be blessed with her being here with all of us Karlen kid's though for many, many more years.  If anyone I know should make it to 100 it would have to be my Mother.

No matter how old we get we always have a special connection to our Mothers.  That's not to say that some do not have strained relationships or even down right dysfunctional relationships with their Mothers, but in the end we should strive just as God strives, to reconcile our broken relationships with all people and who more so than with the very person that gave birth to you.  Again, this attachment and desire to be close to our Mother is a lifelong attachment.  I remember my Grandfather Fletcher telling me not too long before he passed away that he wished he could just lay down on the couch beside his mother once again and lay his head on her lap like he did when he was a little boy.  Just hearing him say those words again in my memory literally brings tears to my eyes.

A Mother's love is a love for all time, just like the love of our Lord

Yesterday Maddie had a pretty good scare.  Our oldest dog is our Cocker Spaniel 'Gracie', we've had Gracie ever since Maddie was 5 years old.  I doubt Maddie can really remember Gracie not being there and Gracie has always been the most attached to Maddie.  She follows her around the house and sleeps most of the time in Maddie's room.  If Maddie is home Gracie is most likely right there with her.  Well Gracie has since she was a puppy had occasional seizures.  Yesterday she had a very bad and very long seizure, afterwards she was unresponsive and her breathing was irregular.  Maddie was very scared and was crying afraid that Gracie was dying.  Gail took off at lunch and ran home to check on them both.  Fortunately by that time Gracie was breathing better but she was obviously very wore out from the exertion of the seizure and it wasn't until late in the evening that she seemed to be back to normal.

I told Maddie that she needs to understand that Gracie is an old girl and that it's possible that at some point her old body won't be able to handle one of these seizures.  I know one of Maddie's greatest fears is losing her puppy and it breaks my heart to know that it could happen anytime.  One of the things about being a farm kid like I am is you are used to the death of animals and you understand that it's just part of having animals around.

Maddie with Gracie, Maddie must be about 13 in this photo.
WmRoy Karlen photo

Creath and Maddie with Gracie when Gracie is a new arrival.
Maddie would be 5 in this photo and Creath 8 years old.
WmRoy Karlen photo

Maddie and Gracie in Maddie's Room.
Not sure how old Maddie is in this photo, she must be around 7 or so.
WmRoy Karlen photo
On Friday last week Gail and I went to the Bank of the West Concert at Memorial Park.  This was another huge show with the news saying an estimated 75,000 took in the show.  I really do not doubt that estimate, however Gail and I were able to find seating within view of the stage.  That really surprised me as we didn't get there until just a few minutes before the opening act started.  We just kept moving forward and spotted a place between two groups where we could easily fit in our folding chairs.

The opening act was a young woman named Morgan Leigh and her band.  She did a great job and I enjoyed her show though I found some of her lyrics and antics to be a bit risque but, I do realize that I have become a bit of a prude.  This risque style is of course common amount country acts which is what her style was.  Gail did question why they had a country act open for Loverboy and Pat Benatar .  Loverboy came on next and Gail immediately let out a laugh.  Before the show she had asked if I thought Mike Reno would come out in leather pants, I said I hoped not.  Well neither of us realized that he has gotten rather large in his later years and the sight of him caused Gail to laugh.  I think it also crushed some of her perceptions from her youth.

Pat Benatar and her husband Neil Giraldo were the headliner and I have to say they put on a whale of a show!  Neil Giraldo is still an amazing guitar player and it was impressive to watch and listen to him play.  I have to say it's great to see a couple that have been together so long on stage and appearing to still enjoy each other as well as loving what they're doing.

I'll confess that listening to these old songs brings back a strange mixture of joy and sadness.  Music strikes such a strong emotional cord and has so many memories attached to it that it's impossible to not be transported back at some point.  We all have good memories and not so good memories, things we are thankful for and things that we regret.  Thankful we are surrounded by a grace filled God and those events that we hold in regret will not be held against us.  For God's all encompassing and enveloping Grace is there for us, just waiting for us to recognize it and to reach for it.  Praise God!

I'm anxious for my upcoming 35th High School Reunion on July 12 & 13.  It will be so good to go back home and see old friends and family.  I'm hoping some of my friends that have not been to past reunions will make it this time.  I've reached out to several and asked them to come but whether or not they actually will show remains a mystery.  I have been asked to give a prayer at the banquet on Saturday night so I really need to sit down soon and put together just what I'd like to try and get across to my old classmates.

With that, I need to run for today.  May this day find you all engulfed in the Love of Christ and the Grace of God the Father.

Many, many blessings to you all!
Roy

The Lutheran Church in the small South Dakota town of Gayville.





Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Creath's Theology Paper

Last Thursday I went to Sioux Falls to listen to my son Creath present a paper at a Conference on the Campus of the University of Sioux Falls.  A select group of Junior and Senior students had been invited to submit papers to this function, and Creath was selected to be one of those who presented a paper during a session focused on African American Studies.  I've copied into this post his entire paper, I think he did a great job and the whole time I was there listening I was thinking, "I wish Jesse was here to hear this".  I am very proud of Creath he is a highly intelligent (wherever did he get that from... LOL) young man and has some brilliant insights.  He is so much higher evolved than I was at his age that I am incredibly humbled and extremely proud.

Here is his paper:

Creath Karlen
THE 490
Dr. Hitchcock
Slave Theology
19 March 2013
Justification of Violence used by American Slaves
            The words ‘slave’ or ‘slavery’ conjure up within us many images and emotions, none of which could be described as positive. The history of slavery is one filled with dark and gruesome images that most would like to pretend had never and do not still happen to this day. However, the violence and bloodshed was not always been perpetrated by the slave owners, but just as the slave owners could treat their slaves violently, the slaves themselves at times responded with violence. David Walker provides one example of this in his Appeal in Four Articles; Together with a Preamble, to the Coloured Citizens of the World, but in Particular, and Very Expressly, to Those of the United States of America, written in 1829, where he cites a newspaper reporting on a group of slaves who had turned violent against the men driving them, which resulted in the deaths of two of the three men.[1] There are many questions which could be raised in regard to this sort of event and the primary focus of this paper will be to address the following question: how justified were the slaves in acting violently against their owners? While in today’s America we no longer have proper slaves, we still find people who are under forms of oppression within our culture and across other cultures as well. Addressing the issue from a Christian prospective, this paper explains how violence is in fact not justified but rather shows an attempt to become independent from God by relying on one’s self in these situations, and in fact all other situations where violence might seem to be an appropriate response. To show this, the paper will focus on two biblical passages: first the Exodus, focusing exclusively on the events leading up to the Israelites’ escape from Egypt where we find examples both of man issued violence and its consequences as well as God issued violence and the results that follow from this. The second passage will be Luke xxii.36-38; it is here that we find instruction given directly from Jesus on the matter of trusting in God rather than partaking in violence[2]. Having looked at these two sources, I will then compare them to modern thinkers.
            In the Exodus, we are given a story of the mass escape of a nation from the bonds of slavery to a tyrant. It is a condition that the escaping nation of Israel had been in for the past four hundred years and during which they were subject to the violence of the Egyptians daily. Despite this, Moses’ task in freeing the Israelites was not one that was meant to involve violence issued from his own hands or the hands of the Israelites. Violence against the Egyptians is first suggested in iii.19-20 where God makes Moses aware that Pharaoh will certainly not allow a single one of them to leave unless force is used against him. However, it is not anything that the Israelites will do that will cause Pharaoh to let them go but a direct action of God that we are told will result in the release of the Israelites from their bondage. After Moses and Aaron had embarked to return to Egypt, Moses is again given instruction on what to do once they have arrived. In Exodus iv.22-23 we have again a foretelling of what will happen once Moses has confronted Pharaoh, here God anticipates the tenth plague that will befall Egypt and claim the firstborn of every household outside of the covenant family. Once again we have foretelling of violence that will be used against the Egyptians in order to free the Israelites and just as in iii.20, it is not from the hand of Israel that the violence will come from but it is the hand of God that will inflict violence upon the Egyptians. These instances in the Exodus story along with Moses’ commission, give clear understanding that in this case violence was not a method to be used by the Israelites against the Egyptians and that should any violence be used, it would be directly from the hand of God against those who had enslaved his people.
            Further evidence of this is found even prior to Moses’ first encounter with God. The first story told of Moses’ adult life begins in Exodus ii.11 where we read of his encounter with an Egyptian task-master who is beating an Israelite slave. Having made sure that no one was within sight of the place, Moses enters into the conflict and strikes down the Egyptian, killing him, and then proceeds to hide the body in the sands. While it might be a ridiculous idea to think that the death of one task-master might free the countless enslaved, Moses undoubtedly has in mind the wellbeing of the slave who he is attempting to rescue. Even so, it is clear to see that nothing in fact comes of his actions here except for his fast approaching flight from Egypt in order to evade Pharaoh’s wrath. There are two forms of violence in the first chapters of Exodus, from which we can see the consequences of what happens when violence is used. In the first instance, it is manmade violence, man-to-man violence which is stirred up from the independent actions of man; the violence is issued from man from a trust and dependence upon himself to achieve the desired results. In the second instance, violence does not come from man at all – in fact there is no human factor involved in the issuing forth of that violence – it is directly from God and requires a dependence on God. Had the Israelite slaves not been dependent in this event and rather taken the violence into their own hands, as Moses had already done, then we can expect that any effort to free them would have failed as well.  From this we can see that good is seemingly not a possibility when man acts violently against his fellow man, that even in this most extreme of circumstances it is futile when that violence comes from man’s dependence upon himself. Justice from violence only occurs in the Exodus when the Israelites place themselves at the mercy of God and allow for the violence to be issued from the hands of God alone against those guilty of injustice, without any effort on their own part.
            In Luke xxii.36-38 we have a New Testament comparison to the Exodus passage, one that displays a dependence upon God rather than a dependence upon ourselves through violence. This passage opens with Jesus having just reminded the disciples of the previous times in which they were sent out and were told to bring nothing with them[3] because they would be provided these things along the way. This is the first instance in which they are being told to have these things with them prior to setting off and is the only time when the mention of a sword is included. However this passage is to be read, whether taking what Jesus is saying as literal instruction to carry a sword or as a figurative clue, it is an indication of trial to come. In this aspect, we can relate it to the condition of the Israelites and likewise to the Black American slaves. This relation though should not be seen as an excuse or permission for either party to use aggressive force but only to act in self-defense; that is if we choose to read it literally. If we do choose to read it literally, the passage is read as saying that in the up-coming trials they are to face, self-defense is such a necessity that all other things are secondary and they must be willing to give up even what they are wearing in order to stay alive.[4] However, this view, while being the most straightforward, does not stand up when put in conversation with other passages where Jesus speaks on violence – most notably at his arrest in the garden of Gethsemane in Luke xxii.49-51.[5] This view also does not correspond to the way that the disciples actually did respond when confronted by violence and hostility after the resurrection and ascension of Jesus. When faced with persecution, none of the disciples resorted to violence.
In Gethsemane, we see Jesus scolding his disciples for resorting to violence, not advocating a form of self-defense. The passage reads more appropriately when put in a figurative light. [As Leon Morris says,] When we do this, it becomes [quote] “Jesus’ graphic way of bringing it home that the disciples face a situation of grave peril. ‘Because He was not thinking of their weapons, the disciples require that courage which regards a sword as more necessary than an upper garment and surrenders even its last possession, but cannot give up the struggle.’”[6] [end quote] Jesus’ death is coming fast upon them and there are few things in the struggle that the disciples will come to face as a result that are more necessary to preserve than their faith and commission. The necessity to preserve their faith and their commission is so great that they must be willing to sacrifice everything else so that their faith and commission can continue and spread. This is surely not instruction advocating violence then, but rather one advocating the preservation of one’s faith despite the violence they may come to face in the near future. This is only possible, however, by doing as the Israelites had done before them by placing everything they have in the hands of God and becoming dependent upon God rather than themselves.
            However, it is this instruction that the disciples misunderstood and likewise can be misunderstood by us as well if careful attention is not given to what Jesus is saying here. In xxii.38 the disciples make their response to his instruction to them saying simply, “See, Lord, here are two swords.” The misunderstanding becomes all too clear with the words Jesus utters to them next, “That is enough.”[7] With these words, Jesus both shows the misunderstanding of the disciples and ends the discussion on the matter altogether. His response hints to us his frustration with his disciples for their inability to apprehend what it is he is saying, their dullness has made them unable to hear his words.[8] [According to Leon Morris,] While the disciples [quote] “spoke in terms of this world’s arms and said they could only muster two swords. Jesus’ response, It is enough, means not, ‘Two will be sufficient’ but rather, ‘Enough of this kind of talk!’”[9][end quote] They have sorely missed the point.
             From both the Exodus and the Gospel of Luke, there are two distinct and yet intertwined purposes given for non-violence. From the Exodus, we see an enslaved Israel, who finds herself in a condition much like that of the Black American slaves. In their escape from captivity and oppression they are moved forward only by a reliance upon God rather than taking matters into their own hands to violently overthrow their worldly-masters. This is seen most strikingly in comparing human action – what Moses would do – to divine action – what God actually did. Had the Israelites relied solely upon human action, on their own hands, we can assume from the consequences of Moses’ actions that their condition would only have worsened. Only relying upon divine action realizes the promise of God to rescue them from the hands of the Egyptians. In the Gospel of Luke, we see the disciples who will soon find themselves being hunted down, much like the escaped slave, but who are told to remain faithful to the very end at any cost. When they do resort to violence at Gethsemane, even in what they might see as self-defense, they are scolded by Jesus for having missed the point.
            In order to help clarify how just it is for a slave to use violence against his master, we look further to Stanley Hauerwas’ discussion of war and its morality. The assumption can be made here that the violence of slaves upon their masters is a rational violence, that is to say that they are not acting out violently for no purpose but have as their primary motive their human rights which have been taken captive by their owners. From this assumption we can then compare the “violence” of the slaves to those actions that take place during a war because war, as described as war rather than mere violence, appears to have a different moral evaluation than simple violence. [Hauerwas explains,] [quote] “At the very least, war denotes purposive human activity that violence does not always imply.”[10] [end quote]
However, even though this sort of violence does seem to serve a moral ends it does not appear to be the best Christian ethical response to the problem at hand. Hauerwas, in his essay Should War Be Eliminated? A Thought Experiment applies eschatology to this problem of moral violence in order to help us see that while violence certainly is an option, it is not the option most suited or most advisable for the Christian. [In this essay Hauerwas states] [quote]
Thus the Christian must live between the vision of the reign of God and its concrete realization in history. Any ethical response to war must be worked out in light of this tension. Christians may take different stances about war as they move toward the realization of God’s kingdom in history, but all Christians will “find in any violent situation the consequences of sin: not only sinful patterns of domination, oppression or aggression, but the conflict of values and interests which illustrate the limitations of a sinful world.”[11][end quote]
Violence then, understood as a result of sin rather than the sin itself, only exists because of sin, because of man’s effort to make his own way. We see this in Exodus with the behavior of Moses in attacking the Egyptian; in an effort to do things his own way Moses attacks and kills another man thinking some good might come from it, but because it was done of his own accord as an effort to pave his own path rather than depending on God to find a solution rather than himself, the action has a negative result.
            If violence is not the ethical answer in this eschatological age, what then is the correct answer to violence? In the case of the Israelite slaves, their freedom from Egypt was only made possible by their reliance upon God for their rescue, rather than taking matters into their own hands. This meant for them to patiently wait for God’s business to reach the point at which they were able to escape, and once they had, to further rely upon God’s assistance, and when violence was needed to allow it to be issued by God rather than themselves. For the disciples, Jesus gave them instruction saying that soon they would come to face persecution because of him and when they were faced with this violence that they must be ready to sacrifice everything else for the sake of protecting their faith and their mission. Hauerwas, as did Jesus, advocates pacifism and non-violence, saying that [quote] “Christian nonresistance is a form of discipleship to Jesus, not in a legalistic way but rather ‘as he is, so are we in this world’ (1 John 4:17). Such discipleship is inherently eschatological,”[12][end quote] for it is only in relation with God’s future that nonresistance is meaningful.
            So, can we say that a slave is justified in killing his master? The answer seems to be a resounding ‘no’ from these three voices. This act, from the perspective of Exodus, is to take matters into your own hands which rightfully belong to God. It is God’s duty in the Exodus to act as the rescuer, not the Israelite slaves whose duty is to rely upon God and maintain their faith in the God of their fathers, this is done for them by allowing for God to lead them away from violence rather than partaking in the violence themselves. Luke echoes this idea saying that it is the duty of the disciples to maintain their faith at any cost and to spread that faith, not to strike at or kill those who oppose it, which only acts against their purpose by imposing their own purpose for the faith they wish to spread into that faith. While it is an option to act violently against their oppressors, I believer Martin Luther King, Jr. was right when he said, [quote] “the nonviolent approach does something to the hearts and souls of those committed to it. It gives them new self-respect. It calls up resources of strength and courage that they did not know they had. Finally, it so stirs the conscience of the opponent that reconciliation becomes a reality.”[13]
Bibliography
Hauerwas, Stanley. The Hauerwas Reader. Durham and London: Duke University Press, 2001.
King, Martin Luther, Jr. Strength to Love. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981.
Morris, Leon. The Gospel According to St. Luke: An Introduction and Commentary by Leon Morris. London: Inter-Varsity Press, 1977.
Rice, Edwin W. People’s Commentary on the Gospel According to Luke. Philadelphia: The Union’s Book Agency, 1889.
Walker, David. Walker’s Appeal, in Four Articles; Together with a Preamble, to the Coloured Citizens of the World, but in Particular, and Very Expressly, to Those of the United States of America. Massachusetts: 1829.




[1] David Walker, Walker’s Appeal, in Four Articles; Together with a Preamble, to the Coloured Citizens of the World, but in Particular, and Very Expressly, to Those of the United States of America (Massachusetts: 1829), 26-27.
[2] All Bible references or quotes are taken from the NIV Study Bible.
[3] This first occurs in Luke ix.3 and second in Luke x.4.

[4] Edwin W. Rice, People’s Commentary on the Gospel According to Luke (Philadelphia: The Union’s Book Agency, 1889), 290.

[5] Leon Morris, The Gospel According to St. Luke: An Introduction and Commentary by Leon Morris (London: Inter-Varsity Press, 1977), 310.

[6] Morris, The Gospel According to St. Luke, 310.

[7] The NIV translates this, “That’s enough!”

[8] Rice, People’s Commentary on the Gospel According to Luke, 291.

[9] Morris, The Gospel According to St. Luke, 311.
[10] Stanley Hauerwas, The Hauerwas Reade (Durham and London: Duke University Press, 2001), 394.

[11] Hauerwas, 401.

[12] Hauerwas, 437.

[13] Martin Luther King, Jr., Strength to Love (Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1981), 151.



On the way home I stopped and took a couple of photos of country churches.  Here are two beautiful Lutheran Churches in South Dakota.  

In His Love and Glory,
Roy