Remembering an Old Friend today

Three years ago today a friend of mine from my college days passed away.  My old friend Mark Winquist lost his battle to cancer after a courageous fight.  I will always remember coming into work the day after Memorial Day and pulling up my e-mail account and seeing the title to an e-mail from my friend John Forman which simply read 'Mark'.  For whatever reason as soon as I saw that name I knew in my heart my friend from so long ago had died.  This was truly amazing for you see I didn't even know he was ill, unfortunately we had fallen out of contact with one another.  I had talked to him on the phone briefly about a year and a half before he died but prior to that it had been nearly twenty years since we'd visited.

Mark had been incredibly active in the Methodist Church in Brookings, SD and had been among other things their Youth Leader.  It is a testament to his service for his congregation that they built a 'Prayer Garden' in his honor.

Web page mentioning the Prayer Garden


Mark's passing hit me very hard at the time, and I suppose it still does.  I hate the idea that I've reached the age when my friends are now dying from disease and decay.  But the thing that really hit hard and hurt so much was the realization that I had lost contact with Mark and so many other people that had once meant so very, very much to me.  I also realized that if it hadn't been for me remaining a little bit in contact with our mutual friend John I'd have likely not known for years if ever what had happened to Mark.  

Many of my memories of Mark have to do with lifting weights.  My good friend John Forman, Mark and I used to compete in Powerlifting Meets.  Rather I should say that in our respective weight classes I was getting pummeled, John was in the hunt, and Mark was dominating.  Without a doubt Mark was the strongest man pound for pound that I will ever know personally.  When it came to physical strength he was the perfect storm of genetic potential, muscle attachments, determination, training and intelligence.  I remember well screaming encouragement as Mark hoisted weights that no sane man would crawl under, not to mention a man of Mark's size.

Mark Winquist receiving a trophy from Skip Parks
Sad to say both of these great lifters have passed away.
WmRoy Karlen photo

John Forman receiving a trophy from Skip Parks
WmRoy Karlen photo

Roy Karlen (me) receiving a trophy from Skip Parks.
John Forman is in the background.
WmRoy Karlen photo

Mark's death spurred me to reach out and reconnect with some friends who I hadn't talked to for many years.  It also forced me to, or perhaps more accurately gave me the opportunity to apologize to some whom I had injured in the past.  Thankfully, most forgave me and at least partially several broken fences were mended, or at least acknowledged.

I did travel back to South Dakota to attend the funeral and I tell you it was a great service.  At the one year anniversary of Mark's death I dedicated a sermon in his honor.  The video of that sermon can be found at this blog post. 

Blog Post with Sermon dedicated to Mark's memory

The process of reaching out to my old friends and loved ones, and realizing their grace towards me, ultimately gave me a theological revelation.  These experiences revealed to me how much, much greater our God and His love is than I had ever imagined.  It is a never ending source of amazement that God can use even the worst situations in our lives for our and His ultimate good.  Now please do NOT think that I am saying God causes bad things to happen to anyone.  I find that line of theological thinking to be extremely dangerous and damning for God.  Rather than bog down this blog post I'll put that in the back of my mind for a post for another day.  Just realize that your God loves you deeply and only wants the very best for you.

Now don't think for a second that I'm saying Mark was an absolute saint.  To say that Mark was eccentric may well be ranked as one of the greatest understatements I have ever made.  And the fact that he and I had become estranged wasn't entirely my fault, as I did try to contact him a couple of times during the twenty years or so that we hadn't communicated and the last time we talked, it was I that tracked down his phone number and gave him a call.  I don't think Mark ever forgave me for divorcing Carolin, my first wife.  He was very fond of her, and I'm certain that he was a bit more than a little jealous when he found out that I had asked her to marry me.  But envious or not, he was one of our groomsmen (along with my friend John).

Today as I remember Mark, I'm reminded as well that I need to contact some of those friends once again and see how the last three years have progressed for their lives.  I'd love to get some of them together and meet someday but who knows if that will ever come to pass.  I guess I better resolve myself to try and put this together.  Don't let those you love go by without knowing that they are in fact important to you, let them know today.

May this post find you all reminded of the many great people you have been fortunate enough to share your lives with.  God's abundant and never ending blessings and love to you all.

In His Glory,
Roy

PS: I am also sad to report that Mark's mother passed away earlier this year.  His father is still alive and I pray for him to be comforted after the loss of his lifelong mate.  God's blessings to him.