My apologies for not posting

I am terribly sorry that I haven't blogged anything over the Christmas season.  Unfortunately on the 18th I started having some pain in my jaw and my Dentist and long time friend Paul Bacino gave me an antibiotic for what he believed was an infected tooth.  The next night my jaw was still bothering me but I was able to eat without much of a problem and I worked out at the gym, even though my jaw was very sore.  The next day my jaw was worse but I was still able to eat though with discomfort.  Friday night I started having chills and I was obviously running a fever so my wife insisted that I go to the Emergi-Care on Saturday morning.  The doctor there thought I had a sinus infection and gave me a different antibiotic, which was fine as the one Paul gave me was only a five day regime, so I only had one dose left.

Unfortunately after leaving the ER I felt even worse and went back home and laid on the couch under a couple of blankets and had terrible chills.  Later that night I got the chills so bad that I was almost going into convulsions, Gail checked my temperature and discovered I had a temperature of just over 103.  Fortunately the fever did go down after taking some Motrin and putting on shorts and a tank top.  Gail really wanted me to jump in a cold shower but as violently as I was shivering, I wasn't about to do that.  Maddie really wanted her Mother to take me to the ER but I wasn't having anything to do with that.

I was no better come Monday so I went back and saw Dr. Bacino.  This time he x-rayed my jaw and confirmed that it was definitely the tooth and he could see that there was also no infection in my sinuses.  He drilled into the tooth through the filling and put some medicine into the tooth directly and then put a temporary filling in. Paul told me to continue to take the antibiotic that the ER Doctor had prescribed but to switch to taking it four times a day from the three that she had directed.

Sadly, this antibiotic seemed to also have no effect on my infection.  And whereas I had set up to attend three Christmas Eve services and had every intention of going sick or not; about the time we needed to head out for the first service I again started having terrible chills.  So Gail pulled rank on me and said that this year we would just be staying home and that I was too ill to go out.

Christmas Day I managed to get through all the family celebrations but I was unable to eat and just had a protein shake and some milk.  The day after Christmas I called Dr. Bacino again and told him that I was on my last few pills of the antibiotic and that it had made no dent in the infection and in fact my jaw was more swollen than before.  So Paul called in a third antibiotic for me with the hope that this one might have some effect on the infection.

Finally today I think I'm seeing a little improvement.  There isn't as much pain in the jaw but I'm still having trouble eating anything.  Today though I did force myself to eat a bit more than I have been lately.  I've lost a fair amount of weight through the course of this all and worst of all I haven't been able to train at all.

I can't remember an illness that has laid me low for this long and even my Mother who never gets concerned, has been threatening to come to Omaha and make me go see another Doctor.  I've told her that it's obviously an infected tooth and that it just appears that I was unlucky enough to contract one that has multiple drug resistance.  For whatever reason she seems convinced that there is more to this than just a tooth.  I think she's been doing too much Googling and is making herself worry unnecessarily.

The most frustrating part about it all is that six months ago at my routine cleaning and check up, Dr. Bacino wanted me to have a 'preemptive' root canal in this tooth.  I asked him why would I do that to a tooth that isn't hurting me, he said that his intuition told him that tooth could be a problem down the road due to the size of the filling in that tooth.  My response was that it had been like that for nearly 30 years.  This is a tooth with a large gold filling that was done at the Creighton Dental School shortly after my first wife and I moved to Omaha.  It was done by a dental student who also put several other fillings in for me.  I laughingly told Paul that he just wanted that gold filling.  Sadly, I'm not the one laughing now.  The next time Paul uses his Jedi Dentist skills and tells me we need to do something preemptively, I'm going to be all for it!!  

I haven't been doing any reading to speak of through all this and have spent as much time as possible sleeping and trying to fight off this infection that way.  It's always been my theory that sleep is the best medicine when you are ill.  Hopefully I'll be over the hump this week as one of my Christmas gifts was the two volume collection of NT Wright's new book on 'Paul'.  These two volumes are over 1,200 pages long and it's one of the most comprehensive writings on Paul ever done.  I'm anxious to read these volumes even though I know that Wright and I disagree on at least one aspect of Paul and his writings.  This is another time when I really wish Jesse was still here as this book would be perfect for one of our studies.  Interestingly, the books that I have on the Apostle Paul are second only in shelf space to the books that I have on Christ himself.

I very much do regret that with all of this we did not get to attend Midnight Mass at Saint Cecilia's, that is one of the highlights of my entire year and missing out on this Mass leaves a major hole in my experience of Christmas.

May these ramblings find you all well and blessed.

In God's constant Grace & Love,
Roy

Third Sunday of Advent

Last Sunday (the 8th) since the weather was a bit adverse, we decided to attend St. Paul Lutheran Church here in Millard as it is very near to our home.  It was the second Sunday of Advent and according to the Lutheran tradition it was the Sunday of Preparation.  I really do enjoy taking in a Lutheran service every so often, and Gail really enjoys St. Paul's early service since it's a traditional service.

Today we went back to Benson Baptist for their 8:30 am service.  I was happy to see that John & Stella Watts and their family along with my good friend Edsel Buchanan were lighting the third candle for Advent the 'Love Candle'.  John is the son of Jesse's wife Kathy Brown and Stella is Edsel's daughter.  I'm always happy to see Edsel as he is enduring the onset of Alzheimer's disease.  Thankfully he seems to be doing very well.  He is always happy and lively, and he never hesitates in recognizing me.  I pray that he's able to remain alert and healthy for  many more years.

One of the puzzling things about the Advent tradition is why are there so many different themes attached to the four Advent Candles (purple and pink or rose).

Here are just a few examples:

Promise, Light, Love, Hope

Hope, Peace, Joy, Love

Prophecy, Bethlehem, Shepherd, Angel

Hope, Preparation, Joy, Love

Prophecy, Way, Joy, Peace

Expectation,  John the Baptist, Mary, Magi

Waiting for the Shepherd, Waiting for Forgiveness, Waiting for Joy, Waiting for the Son

But for us American Baptist (at least in the Churches I've attended) it is:

Hope, Peace, Love, Joy

The following is largely taken from this web-page: 

The Meaning and History of Advent

The Advent Wreath

The Meaning of Advent and the Origin of the Advent Wreath

The season of Advent is understood today to be a time of preparation for Christmas, the feast of the birth of Jesus. The name of this season is taken from the Latin adventus, which means “coming”, and in the early Church the word was used mainly for Christmas itself, the coming of Jesus, the Son of God, into the world. Gradually, however, adventus began to have a slightly different meaning and referred, as it does today, to the season of preparation for the feast of Christ’s coming to humanity. In the Middle Ages this meaning was extended and His coming was seen in three different ways: His birth at Bethlehem in the past; His second and future coming at the end of time; His present coming through grace into the hearts and souls of His people. And so in Advent we prepare to celebrate the past; we prepare to receive Christ into our lives in the present; and we prepare for the end of the world and the coming of Heaven.

The Advent wreath originated a few hundred years ago among the Lutherans of eastern Germany. It was probably suggested by the many light symbols which were prominent in folk customs at the end of November and beginning of December. At that time of the year, the pagans of Northern Europe celebrated the month of Yule (December) with the burning of lights and fires to dispel the gloom of the short days and long dark nights of winter. In medieval times Christians kept many of these light and fire symbols alive as popular traditions. Later, in the sixteenth century these practices were given a Christian meaning and lights came to be used as religious symbols of Advent in the home. This practice quickly spread among the Protestants of eastern Germany and was soon accepted by Protestants and Catholics in other parts of the country.

The Advent wreath is a wreath of evergreens of various kinds, some with symbolic meaning. It can either be suspended from the ceiling or placed on a table. Fastened to the wreath are four candles standing upright, at equal distances. These candles represent the four weeks of Advent. A fifth candle the 'Christ' candle is generally added during the celebration of Christmas Eve.

The traditional symbolism of the Advent wreath reminds us of Old Testament times, when humanity was “sitting in darkness and in the shadow of death” (Luke 1:79); when the prophets, illumined by God, foretold a Redeemer; and when the hearts of men yearned for a Messiah who would save the world. The wreath - an ancient symbol of victory and glory - symbolizes the “fulfillment of time” in the coming of Christ and the glory of His birth.

The Many Symbols of the Advent Wreath

The symbols of the Advent wreath should be explained to the children to make the service more meaningful and exciting for them. It makes certain teachings of our Faith visible, even touchable and is a very effective way to present these to children.

First of all, and most important, is the symbolism of light. The children will have surely noticed that in winter the days become shorter and the nights become longer. It should be pointed out to them that at Christmas this changes, and the days begin to get longer and the nights shorter. The progressive lighting of candles symbolizes the coming of the spiritual light of Christ into the world and anticipates the change in physical light which takes place at Christmas.

The wreath itself is round, a circle. This reminds us of the crowns worn by kings and of crowns made of laurel (bay) leaves presented to those who were victorious in the athletic games of the ancient world. It points out to us that Jesus Christ is our true King and that He is victorious over those things which would hurt us - evil, sin, and death.

The wreath, again, is circular and this is a symbol of the eternity of God, who, like a circle, has no beginning nor an end. The candles placed on the wreath remind us that in Jesus’ birth at Bethlehem, He who was eternal, the Son of God, entered into our world of time and change. (Theologians call this the “intersection of time and eternity”. How amazing that such a profound idea can be made visible by a few branches and candles!)

Point out to the children that the differing lengths of the candles show us the passing of time as we get nearer to Christmas.

Each candle on the wreath stands for a Sunday (and its following week) of the Advent season. Candles 1, 2, and 4 are purple. In the ancient world purple dye was very expensive and could only by afforded by kings. The purple candles tell us that the one whose birth we are preparing to celebrate is our true King. The rose candle (3rd Sunday) tells us that Advent is half over and Christmas is getting nearer and nearer. Its lighter color is a symbolic anticipation of our joy when we celebrate the birth of Jesus.

The Advent wreath is made of evergreens, which are symbolic of life itself and, since they last through the winter, point to God’s gift of life which comes to us even when the world is dark and threatening. Many kinds of evergreens can be used when we make the wreaths at Church. Others can be added later on at home. Each has its own symbolic meaning.

Pine , the most common evergreen, points to Everlasting Life.

laurel (Bay), which was used to crown those who won in the games, signifies victory.

cedar , because it is long lasting and aromatic, is symbolic of strength and healing.

Juniper , holly, and rosemary By legend these plants provided shelter and help for the Holy Family when they fled from Bethlehem to Egypt. The fragrance of rosemary, it has been said, began when the Virgin Mary laid out the Infant Jesus’ clothes to dry on this plant. The rosemary bush responded by perfuming the Christ Child’s clothing.

Holly . Its prickly leaves remind us of the Crown of Thorns. Its red berries remind us of the Blood of Jesus shed for us upon the Cross.

Ivy , since it is frequently used as a decoration, has always been a symbol of joy and festivity.

May you all have a wonderful week in peace and love.

In God's constant care,

Roy

The beginning of the Advent Season / And other ramblings

Yesterday marked the first Sunday of Advent and the start of the Christmas season. The Advent season is a time of preparation as we focus on the first coming of Christ. 

Preparing for Christmas - taken from 'A Book of Simple Prayers'

O blessed Lord Jesus, give us thankful hearts for thee, our choicest gift, our dearest friend.

Let not our souls be busy inns that have no room for thee and thine, but quiet homes of prayer and praise where thou mayst find fit company; where the needful cares of life are wisely ordered and put away, and wide sweet spaces kept for thee; where holy thoughts pass up and down, and fervent longings watch and wait thy coming.

So when thou comest again, O blessed One, mayst thou find all things ready, and thy servants waiting for no new master, but for one long loved and known.

Even so come, Lord Jesus

This week we attended the 8:30 am services at Benson Baptist.  It was the first Sunday of Advent, and as is tradition the 'Hope' Candle was lit.  We all have 'hope' for this world, hope that things will improve, hope that eventually mankind will work out it's differences and we'll all live in peace and love with one another.  

But my 'hope' is that more and more will begin to see the 'hope' of Christ.  The 'hope' that he had that we could all learn to live by his example of grace, love, compassion and sacrifice.  These are not things that we need to act out in great and grand gestures such as spending a day serving food at a local shelter, or traveling to Africa to be a missionary; not really... now do not misunderstand me all these are great and wonderful things and we desperately need to do these things.  BUT... where we truly are called as faithful followers of Jesus is to practice these virtues; grace, love, compassion and sacrifice in our day to day and everyday interactions with other people.

As Christians we all need to strive to live our daily lives as a reflection of God.  Even in our interactions with non-Christian and non-religious individuals.  We need to practice Christ's traits of grace, love, compassion and sacrifice in all of our interactions.  In our dealings with friends, colleagues, strangers, and even family.  

Perhaps the greatest irony of life is that the place where we have such difficulty in practicing grace and compassion on the smallest levels is with our own families.  We mistreat our loved ones much more than any stranger we meet.  Anger and frustration rear it's ugly head nearly daily in all too many Christian homes.  I wish I could say that these things never visit my own home but that just isn't so.  In fact I find that as my loving wife and I age there are times when we are frustrated with one another.  This is a result of my ongoing problem with not communicating my wishes and desires and this mixed with my wife's slow and steady loss of hearing can make for times of great miscommunication and misunderstanding.  

It's in these moments of frustration that our greatest opportunities to practice grace and it's companion forgiveness exist.  We need to remember that our family members are just as flawed and imperfect of human beings as we are and that we need to forgive them for their shortcomings.  Shortcomings that all to often are the result of our own failing to listen or communicate adequately.  And let's be honest all to often the reason we are so upset is that we realize deep within that it was our own doing, and there is no one individual that is harder to forgive than one's own self.  Practice grace, love, compassion and sacrifice not only to those around you but with yourself as well.

Blessed are those that forgive, for they exhibit the greatest attribute of God.  For many of us love but all too few forgive....

Other Ramblings:

Thanksgiving week was a hectic week for our family.  On the Monday before Thanksgiving Gail's mother Mary Alice, had another in a now long line of strokes.  They took her by ambulance to the hospital and she honestly only got out yesterday morning.  She is doing well and seems to be back to what has become 'normal' for her.  She is home however and her episode did not require her to spend time in a nursing home as has been the case with previous strokes.

As a result of all this our Thanksgiving was just the four of us this year.  Creath came home from Sioux Falls on Wednesday and went back on Friday.  Madeline was off from Tuesday until today.  I drove her back to Lincoln late last night.  It made for a fairly quiet Thanksgiving Day but all things considered we felt a great many things to be thankful for.

I shared with my family the following prayer as grace before the meal:

Lord, behold our family here assembled. We thank thee for this place in which we dwell; for the love that unites us; for the peace accorded us this day; for the hope with which we expect the morrow; for the health, the work, the food, and the bright skies, that make our lives delightful; for our friends in all parts of the earth, and our friendly helpers in this place. Let peace abound in our small company. Purge out of every heart the lurking grudge. Give us grace and strength to forbear and to persevere. Offenders, give us the grace to accept and to forgive offenders. Forgetful ourselves, help us to bear cheerfully the forgetfulness of others. Give us courage and gaiety and the quiet mind. Spare to us our friends, soften to us our enemies. Bless us, if it may be, in all our innocent endeavors. If it may not, give us the strength to encounter that which is to come, that we be brave in peril, constant in tribulation, temperate in wrath, and in all changes of fortune, and down to the gates of death, loyal and loving one to another. As the clay to the potter, as the windmill to the wind, as children to their sire, we beseech of thee this help and mercy for Christ's sake.

Robert Louis Stevenson.

It is a wonderful little prayer and one that for some reason speaks to my soul.

Additional Ramblings:

One of the ironies of the title of this blog is that it really is not appropriate for me to discuss in any detail the process of actually searching for a pulpit.  So much of the 'Path' remains hidden to those that read this blog.  It will only be once the path has reached it's destination that I will in retrospect be able to share any details.

But having said that I do have resumes out and I have been trying to prayerfully locate just where God is calling me to go.  My focus has been on locating a congregation to serve that would allow us to remain in the Omaha area so that we could continue to run the Gallery here in Omaha.  However, I was asked if I would consider a position that would literally take me a third of a world away from Omaha, in a culture and climate that would be virtually foreign to us.  Travel there would be limited and expensive so coming back to the Midwest to visit family would be an extremely rare occurrence.  The great difficulty in physically relocating along with the liquidation of all our business and personal assets would demand in my mind that I intend to make a commitment to this ministry of a decade or more.  Which of course causes a problem with future grandchildren.  Those that know me well know that I am nuts about children, and I am at that stage in life where I am waiting for my children to fall in love, get married and bless this world with little people.  Though neither of our children are married at this time, it is likely just a matter of time before they meet the right person and fall in love.  The thought of being so very, very far away when my grandchildren might be born is one the sits like lead in my very heart.  I am not at all sure I could do that...

There is as well my concern that Gail's health would not deal well with the rather severe climate which would greet us on our arrival.  I have resolved however to be prayerful over this potential opportunity and have asked to be kept informed as to the progress.  A friend of ours may likely travel there to be the interim minister and they have stated that they would fill me in on more details at that time.

I would be very thankful for any and all prayers for guidance and direction pertaining to this matter.

May this beautiful day find you all well, safe and loved.

In the Light of God's Love and Grace,
Roy

November 21, 2013 : Two year remembrance of my Mentor Jesse's passing

Today marks the second anniversary of the passing of my dear friend and mentor the Rev. Dr. Jesse Brown.  It's difficult to believe that two years have passed as it seems just yesterday that I last saw my good friend.  Two years ago today, I held his hand as the last breath of life left his body and as he saw the Gates of Heaven open before him.

Here is a link to my post on the first Anniversary of Jesse's passing:
Last year's remembrance of Jesse

Of course I do find comfort and communion with my departed friend in the use of the library that he left to me.  I am so richly blessed to have these assets available to me.  Thus far I have not encountered any topic for which I have not been able to find multiple reference sources among Jesse's books.  It's a wonderful feeling to be able to go down to the shelves and pull an arm load of books and to have everything needed to tackle a theological point or to prepare a sermon.

Even though thanks to Jesse, my library is extensive I do continue to add to it, I confess to having a serious book addiction.  One of my favorite places to spend a Sunday afternoon is Half Price Books.  I could certainly have worse addictions, and I'm also certain that Jesse understands.

Again today I say farewell to my old friend Jesse.  But when someone has so deeply affected one's life, can one ever truly say farewell?  Or do we always in fact carry those folks with us daily, no matter if those individuals have departed this earth or simply for whatever reason moved on from our lives.  I firmly believe that we hold these people in our hearts and souls.  As long as those individuals continue to affect our behavior and be in our minds I believe our relationship with them continues.

Now one would be greatly mistaken if one where to believe that Jesse and I agreed upon every point theologically or politically.  In reading through the book by Robin Meyer "Saving Jesus from The Church" I am reminded of those areas in which Jesse and I disagreed and some of which we very strongly disagreed.

In reality this was likely the greatest lesson that Jesse taught to me.  Just because you may not agree with an individual on one or many points does not mean that this person does not have many things which they can teach you (and likely you them).  For me to have distanced myself from Jesse just because of a couple of points of disagreement would have been surely the greatest poverty of my life.  You see Jesse and I had as different of backgrounds and life stories as one could almost imagine, but what drew us together was a mutual desire to not only learn but to teach.  For even though Jesse had spent an entire lifetime learning about the Scriptures and about walking with Christ, right up until the end he still retained that desire to learn. I have to believe that in our relationship, the teaching and the learning wasn't just one way.  Perhaps there is no one attribute of Jesse's that I would like to emulate more in my own life, than his desire to learn right up until his last few days.  Always seeking new information and processing that information through the data accumulated through his lifetime.

Always, always, always be a student of life.  You will never meet a man, woman, or child who cannot teach you something about life, yourself, and most of all about God.  But if you close that door too quickly you may just miss the experience of a lifetime.

May you all be blessed and well.

In God's Love and Constant Grace,
Roy

New Book and a quiet Sunday and today a day off.

Since it's Veterans Day today, let me start this post off by thanking and blessing all those who have served.  Thank you all for your, and your families sacrifices to serve our great Nation as a member of the armed services.  Our Nation owes you a debt that we cannot repay and all that any of us can do is say thank you and God Bless.

Well yesterday we attended worship service at Benson Baptist Church.  It's great to hit the 8:30 am service and be out the door by 9:30 or so and have a full day to enjoy on a Sunday.  Pastor Paul told about his recent trip to Bolivia and about the people and churches that they visited there.  It was a very interesting and humbling presentation, as the folks in the third world do as Paul said "So much with so little" and as he went on we "Do so little with so much".  Paul and the other ABC Pastors that went with him had a great experience and it will be interesting to hear as he continues to share those experiences in his weekly sermons.

The rest of the day I spent cleaning and arranging things in the barn and garage.  This was a project that I sorely needed to do and just haven't had the opportunity for many months now.  The weather was beautiful and we had no other obligations (for once) so I was able to haul out and discard somethings and rearrange and store some others.

I have some larger paintings that I want to do and so I needed to get things set up again to do some work in the garage as there just isn't room anywhere else to work on them.  Now that the space is ready hopefully I'll be able to get these projects underway this week sometime.

Today both Gail and I have taken as a vacation day.  We really don't have any set plans other than spending a quiet day together, we'll just do as we like to do on days off and play it by ear.  The only thing I have on my agenda today is hitting the gym this evening, and maybe stopping by and seeing my friend Brandon Stewart at New Dawn Nutrition.  Brandon was out in California this weekend competing in the Natural Mr. Olympia Physique Competition.  This is an International competition and Brandon was able to bring home the big win to little ole Omaha.  He's an amazing athlete having also played professional football (as a kicker) before going into Bodybuilding and then into Physique.

It was a big weekend for competitions with my niece Makayla Ring competing in a Women's Physique Competition in Oklahoma where she took home third place in her class.  Makayla took quite a bit of time off from the gym since her last competition and this was the beginning of her 'comeback'.  She looked good but still needs to make some gains as she has moved up from Figure to Physique and that means she has to sport more muscle.  I'm looking forward to seeing her progress and hopefully this time she has her head screwed down tighter and won't need to back off and sort things out again.  One has to put real life first though and kudos to her for understanding that and doing what needed to be done.

My own training is going along well.  I have relaxed my diet for the last few months and along with training with extremely heavy (for me) weights I am now I believe, the strongest I have ever been in my life.  I am however within 10 lbs of also being at the heaviest body weight I have ever been as well.  Now in the eyes of the general public, I'm a long ways from being 'overweight' but in this subculture in which I live part of my life, I'm too heavy.  I don't like weighing this much so I'm tightening the diet up a bit through the end of the year and at that time I'll go on a full blown 'cut'.  It will be hard on my ego to have my lifts going down but ultimately in this hobby of mine you're always seesawing back and forth between the opposing goals of looking your best or being your strongest.  Especially at my age it's nearly impossible to do both at the same time.  

This week I pulled a book off my shelf entitled "Saving Jesus from The Church, How to Stop Worshiping Christ and Start Following Jesus" by Robin R. Meyers.  It cannot be an accident that I pulled this book off the shelf to read as we are coming up on the second anniversary of the passing of my Mentor Jesse.  This was one of Jesse's books and this author truly shares a great many of Jesse's personal beliefs.  Much of what I am reading are things that Jesse and I discussed during our times together.  In fact as I am reading it I cannot help but hear the words in my head in Jesse's own voice.

Depending on what Gail and I decide to do today, I may well finish this book and be able to move onto another this week.  After reading this book I'm anxious to get to a couple others that I have not yet read but I know that Jesse thought highly of.

May this day and week find you all well and ready to serve our all loving and gracious God.

In His Absolute and Undying Love & Grace!
Roy

A great blog post (another bloggers) concerning Marriage.

I stumbled upon this blog today and I really like this particular post by the young blogger.

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

It's a great bit of writing, though I'm not going to say that the young man has it all figured out, he does have a good start on how to have a successful marriage and one that will likely survive the years.  If he truly practices what he's written I have no doubt that he and his lovely wife will have a long and happy life together.

Perhaps the most important thing his father got across to him is love isn't enough on it's own, it's how you love one another.  Being open and sharing your thoughts and desires and then wanting nothing more than to help your mate reach their dreams and letting them help you reach yours.

I do envy the author in his having such communication with his father.  My own father never gave me any advice for marriage, though I have to confess I never asked him for any advice either.  When the time comes that my children are preparing to marry I fully intend to sit down and have many talks with them.  I do not want them to struggle down the road of marriage as I have and to have to learn how to be married by the school of mistakes, hard knocks and heartache.  

It's a bit trite but communication with your spouse is very, very important.  For whatever reason I at one time just thought my spouse knew me well enough to just 'know' exactly what I wanted out of life without me talking about it.  I never used to share my dreams for life, I just kept them to myself. Communication with my spouse was never my long suite and unfortunately I'm well aware that it still isn't. 

Here's just a teaser but do follow the link and take a look at his blog entry.

Having been married only a year and a half, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn’t for me.

Now before you start making assumptions, keep reading.

I met my wife in high school when we were 15 years old. We were friends for ten years until…until we decided no longer wanted to be just friends. :) I strongly recommend that best friends fall in love. Good times will be had by all.

Nevertheless, falling in love with my best friend did not prevent me from having certain fears and anxieties about getting married. The nearer Kim and I approached the decision to marry, the more I was filled with a paralyzing fear. Was I ready? Was I making the right choice? Was Kim the right person to marry? Would she make me happy?

Then, one fateful night, I shared these thoughts and concerns with my dad.

Perhaps each of us have moments in our lives when it feels like time slows down or the air becomes still and everything around us seems to draw in, marking that moment as one we will never forget.

Added 11/6/13
Apparently this blog has gone viral and the couple appeared on Fox News.
http://foxnewsinsider.com/2013/11/06/recently-married-blogger-seth-adam-smith-stirs-controversy-%E2%80%9Cmarriage-isn%E2%80%99t-me%E2%80%9D-message

Sermon at Humboldt Christian Church

A lovely country church.  I do not know where this particular church is located,
but what a beautiful setting it is.

Today we drove down to Humboldt, NE to worship again with the congregation at the Humboldt Christian Church.  My friend Howard Blecha is the Pastor for the church and he was away at camp with the youth group so I provided pulpit supply for him.  I really enjoy visiting the church in Humboldt, they are just good people and a joy to celebrate the Lord with.  You know you are in God's Country when folks ask where is so and so and the answer is that they are out deer hunting.  Of course as a minister I think they should be in church, but as an old country boy at heart I can fully understand the allure of being out in God's creation waiting to harvest some of it's bounty.  God Bless them all.

The sermon was over Luke 19:1-10 and I throughly enjoyed preparing and delivering this sermon.  I did have a couple of senior moments when I couldn't think of a word that I had just said a moment before but that is just part of getting a bit longer in the tooth I suppose.  I chose to read this scripture from the 'Revised Standard Version' (RSV) translation, though almost all scholars prefer the 'New Revised Standard Version' (NRSV) I must confess that of all the translations I like the older RSV the best.  It seems to me to be the best blend of accuracy in the translation and eloquent language.  But than again when I am doing serious study I will compare multiple translations and when in doubt always default to the NRSV.

There are multiple messages in this bit of Lukan scripture (and the passage is entirely unique to Luke with no mention in any other Canonical writings) but the message I strove the hardest to convey was based on the meaning of Zacchaeus's name.  Zacchaeus in both Aramaic and Hebrew means 'clean' or 'pure'.  What a name for a Chief Tax Collector who collaborates with the Romans in domination of his people and considered a great sinner by his fellow Jews.  But the point is that 'Pure' is truly how God sees not only Zacchaeus the Chief Tax Collector and sinner, but how he sees all of us sinners.  God see's past the sin and to the heart of the sinner.  Where there resides in all of us a pure child of God, one who is lost (in the wrong place) not because we are damned but rather because we are not in the proper relationship with God.  I quoted C.S. Lewis in his famous quote that "The gates of Hell are locked from the inside."  Truly if we are lost (out of relationship with God) it is our own doing, as God looks past the sin, and seeks all of us, just as he was seeking Zacchaeus in this bit of scripture.

May you all be richly Blessed this week and may you all grow in your relationship with our Almighty God.

In His constant Care and Grace,

Roy

Jesus and Zacchaeus - Luke 19:1-10 (Revised Standard Version)

19 He entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 And there was a man named Zacchae′us; he was a chief tax collector, and rich. 3 And he sought to see who Jesus was, but could not, on account of the crowd, because he was small of stature. 4 So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way. 5 And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchae′us, make haste and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he made haste and came down, and received him joyfully. 7 And when they saw it they all murmured, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.” 8 And Zacchae′us stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have defrauded any one of anything, I restore it fourfold.” 9 And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of man came to seek and to save the lost.”

Preaching Next Sunday

Today we attended church at St. Paul's Lutheran Church.  It's been a while since we attended a service at St. Paul's and it was good to take in a traditional Lutheran service again.  After that it was a day of taking Maddie shopping for winter boots and then back home to spend a lazy afternoon at home.  This evening I drove Maddie back to Lincoln and as always I was sad to have to leave my little girl.  Maddie has grown up so much already this year and we're very, very proud of her and how hard she's working on her classes.

Next Sunday I'll be covering for my good friend Howard Blecha down in Humboldt, NE and preaching at the Christian Church.  Howard preaches from the Lectionary and so I'll be following that tradition and preaching over the Gospel of Luke, chapter 19:1-10.

Zacchaeus the Tax Collector

19 Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. 3 He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd.4 So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.

5 When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.

7 All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.”

8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.”

9 Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

I have to tell you that when I saw what the verse was that I would be preaching over I was very excited.  This is a great story and one that has so many levels to it from which to preach.  The biggest problem may well be keeping the sermon to a manageable length.

With any luck I'll have the sermon recorded and I will post a copy here next week.

Until then, may you all be well and blessed.

In His absolute love and grace!

Roy

In Memory of Fayetta Molby

Story of Fayetta Louise Roper Molby

By Rev. Robert C. Molby and daughters

An ancient writer recorded these words of Jesus: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

On October 8, 2013, Fayetta took John, that ancient writer, up on those words that Jesus said and went to the place that He had prepared for her.

Fayetta Louise Roper Molby was born May 12, 1929 in Enid, OK to Russell LeRoy Roper and Selma Ochs Roper. Two months later they moved to Great Bend, KS. After her brother Donald was born they moved to Hutchinson, KS where the rest of her siblings were born. She was the oldest of eight, six brothers and one sister.

She received her education through the school system at Hutchinson, graduating from the high school in 1947 and going on to take training to become a Licensed Practical Nurse in Grace Hospital School of Nursing, skills she put to use in the hospital at Beloit, KS. Later, after marriage and a family of her own, she attended the Night School at Central Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, KS graduating in 1959 with a degree in practical theology.

In addition Fayetta served as a secretary in the Solomon Valley Baptist Parish and in the public schools of Hays and Kansas City, KS as well as in the Region office of the American Baptist Churches of NE.

At an early age, around nine years old, she accepted Christ and publicly declared Him as her Savior through the United Brethren Church in Hutchinson. Later her family became involved in the Westside Baptist Church where, under the encouragement of Mrs. Kidd, she began to play the piano and sing in special numbers. Her pastor, Rev. Lonnie Smith, conducted revival meetings that were popular in that were popular in that day and invited her to participate in the musical part of those meetings.  She played the piano and sang in trios not only in those church meetings but also on the radio when her pastor was doing a broadcast.  All of that while also getting her schooling and eventually working at Grace Hospital.

Being the oldest of eight she found herself becoming a second mother to the youngest four of her siblings.  As one of them put it, "Mom was either sick or having another baby so Fayetta became our second mother."  Ken, a brother who is now in Ghana, Africa; called and told her that one every important memory for him was that she helped him understand who Jesus is when he was 8 years of age and walked with him down the aisle to make his profession of faith.  She not only cared for their physical needs but was concerned about their spiritual needs.

Fayetta met Bob Molby who was chosen to lead a Bible Study group at a home in Hutchinson.  She was the pianist for the group.  Bob was a first year student at nearby Sterling College.  They developed a friendship as they worked together.  When he conducted a revival service at the First Baptist Church in Nickerson, KS he invited her to be his pianist and she accepted. Because she worked the night shift at the hospital he saw to it that she got to work on time using a car that his pastor, Rev. Howard Sorensen, provided.  Everyone knew that these two were destined to be together and on August 18, 1950, they were united in marriage at the First Baptist Church in Raymond, KS where Bob had become the pastor.

Fayetta and Bob were partners for all 63 years plus of their marriage.  She enjoyed doing pastoral visitations with him and serving with him as he worked with churches not only as a pastor but in retirement as an interim pastor.  When you thought of her, you thought of him, and when you thought of him, you thought of her.  She went with him to General Board meetings of the ABC/USA when he served in that capacity.  God richly blessed their partnership.  She loved various groups to which they belonged.  There was the Retired Clergy group, the people with whom they camped at Camp Moses Merrill, the faith family at Sunset Hills Baptist Church and the friends they made while doing Interim Ministry with many churches.  Besides family these were their great support groups.  Fayetta loved being a pastor's wife and mother.  She participated in the ministry of her husband and was always there for him and her children: Kathleen Jane, Nathan Paul, Ruth Anne and Rachelle Colleen or "Shelly" as she is known.  When the children married and had children Fayetta became a loving grandmother to the six best grandchildren in the world: Robert, Ashley, Lucas, Nathan, Andrea, and Erin.  Andrea is married to Eric Catron - so now there are seven.

A brother and a son preceded her in death. Survivors include her husband Bob of the home in Elkhorn, NE; daughters Kathy Cain (David) of San Antonio, TX; Ruth Steele (Mark) of Omaha, NE; Shelly Marx (David) of Bonner Springs, KS, siblings Gerald, Marion, Ken, Russell, Carol and Robert; many nieces, nephews, cousins and a host of friends who will carry on her memory forever.

The story of Fayetta and Bob's life together is a wonderful love story.  A far better story than anything written by man, it's a genuine tale of what love for one another when combined with a mutual love of our Lord can be.  Sad to say far too few of us in my generation will ever be able to match the devotion and dedication to each other and to God that Bob and Fayetta shared in their many wonderful years together.  Through the good and the bad, through the fair sailing and the rough seas, they stayed together and loved each other and their God.  Praise be to God for the example that the Molby's have provided for so very many.  God Bless and protect them both.

In His Constant Care and Grace,
Roy

Chapter 4 'The Dynamics of Grief' - All Our Losses / All Our Griefs

Chapter Four starts out with two examples of loss and how every loss is unique in some fashion. Certainly when we suffer a loss we feel that nobody in the world could possibly understand fully how we feel.  This feeling is actually accurate, as nobody brings exactly the same life experiences and relationship with the object, place or individual that has been lost and caused the grief that we are stricken with.

As unique as each sense of loss or grief is there are however common threads that run through all grief.

Defining Grief:

Grief is the normal but bewildering cluster of ordinary human emotions arising in response to a significant loss, intensified and complicated by the relationship to the person or the object lost.  Guilt, shame, loneliness, anxiety, anger, terror, bewilderment, emptiness, profound sadness, despair, helplessness; all are part of grief and all are common to being human.  Grief is the clustering of some or all of these emotions in response to loss.

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The alternative to regarding grief as a collection of emotions is to equate it with, or derive it from, just one emotion. David Switzer argues that the major dynamic of the inner experience of grief is anxiety, and all the behavioral responses are in some way related to this anxiety.  In Switzer's view, such emotions as guilt or depression or hostility may be present, but derive from anxiety.  The child's hostile response to separation bespeaks anxiety about rejection.

1) Is Grief a Disease?
Even though grief is a cluster of identifiable emotions and behaviors with a common cause, it does not fit into standard psychological classifications.  It is not a functional psychiatric disorder or a subcategory of general depression or anxiety neurosis.  Our intent is to maintain the ordinariness of grief.  We do not regard it as a disease entity, but as the aftermath of a trauma or a temporary stress, a disorganization and confusion not unlike that which accompanies severe physical injury.

Since Freud, the psychoanalytic tradition has tended to regard grief as a disease entity.  Mourning, according to Freud, is the reaction to the loss of a loved person or cherished abstraction, overcome after a period of time.

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Labeling grief as a disease diminishes rather than increases our willingness to deal constructively with the pain.  Grief is a part of life in a way that measles are not, to be wounded is not to be sick.  To look on grief as a disease implies that finitude, loss, and death are alien to life as it was intended to be.  They are not; they are an ordinary inescapable dimension of human life.

2. Anticipated Loss, Anticipated Grief
Often enough grief is caused by an unexpected loss, but at other times it is possible to anticipate an approaching loss with such intensity that one grieves as if the object were already lost. It is sometimes suggested that being able to anticipate the loss will significantly alter the grieving done once the loss takes place.

This is only partly true.  Loss that occurs over a period of time may be particularly painful exactly because it is prolonged, like docking a dog's tail one inch at a time.

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The prolonged grieving process in anticipation of a final loss is common for the dying person who is leaving all the places and people that mean something to him or her.  The feelings encountered in such situations are not anticipatory grief but relentless sorrow for the inability to run or sing or make love or chop wood or remember clearly.  The terminally ill person is grieving in order to get ready to die, saying good-bye to many things before the final loss.  It is important that there be time to grieve for all that will be left behind.

The family and friends of a terminally ill person participate in some of that grief.  Every "last" is cause for grieving.  However, the prolonged grieving o f the one who is dying and that of the survivors are not at all the same.

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It is an error to imagine that the stages of dying made familiar by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance or resignation - are necessarily the stages of grieving.  The one who is dying is letting go of valued and loved things and persons in order to get ready to die.  Those who grieve need to let go of what has been lost in order to get ready to live again.  Many of the dynamics will be the same, but not all.  The two processes do not tend toward the same end.

THE COMMON ELEMENTS OF GRIEF

Grief is anything but systematic.  The emotions discussed below are likely to occur in many unpredictable combinations depending on family attitudes toward grief, patterns of coping with stress, the specific attachment we had to what we have lost, and the social acceptability we think our emotions will encounter.

1) Numbness:
Traumatic loss is a shock to the system.  An organism faced with such a shock usually protects itself from the full impact by entering into a period of numbness.  The initial dynamic of grief is most frequently an absence of feeling, a muting of affect.  Accompanying this emotional state is often an insistence that the loss has not in fact occurred.  As a result, a sense of unreality may pervade our interactions with others early in grief.  We may insist to others that what has happened cannot have happened.  In addition to this unreality, disbelief, and muted feeling, shock may also cause aimless wandering about as if the grief-stricken person were oblivious to walls or time or location.

2) Emptiness, Loneliness, Isolation:
Emptiness is the sense of being diminished from within.  Loneliness is its interpersonal counterpart, the sense that one's surroundings are also empty of people who matter or care.  Isolation is the sense of being divided from others by invisible, incomprehensible boundaries.  Although all these emotions are related, they may appear separately in our awareness.

3) Fear and Anxiety:
Fear and anxiety are experienced as part of grief in three ways: the dread of abandonment; the anxiety of separation; and fear of future contingencies. 

The Dread of Abandonment: The infant's helpless dependence for well-being on the mothering one's care means that being cut off from that care - especially if it happens prematurely - is the beginning of the dread of abandonment.  That dread lingers throughout life as an awareness of non being which we can tolerate only in small doses.  To be abandoned is not to be.  These memories of beginning life influence and even direct our responses to attachment and loss later.  Experiencing abandonment recapitulates earlier helplessness.

The Anxiety of Separation: Similar to the dread of abandonment, separation anxiety refers to the sense of threat to one's own survival as a self.  Because we are social creatures, the loss of someone or something we love is experienced as a threat to the self.  If we think, consciously or not, that a loss will seriously deplete the self, we become anxious.  The greater the emotional investment in the lost person or object, the greater the possibility of anxiety.  Not all grief can be reduced to anxiety; but if the grieving person was excessively dependent on the lost person or object for self definition, then anxiety about oneself may in fact be the most observable aspect of grief.

4) Guilt and Shame:
Guilt is a dominant component of grief. It results from three combined factors: assuming responsibility for an individual loss; decisions that may have hastened or contributed to the loss; and residue from the relationship with the lost person or object.  On occasion, people feel guilt for being relieved that a lingering illness has ended at last or a miserable marriage is finally over.  Most of the guilt associated with grief is useless and counterproductive to constructive grieving.

5) Anger:
Even under the most normal circumstances anger is complex and difficult to handle.  Accepting, managing, and expressing anger as a part of grief is complicated by both personal discomfort and social taboo.  De mortuis nil nisi bonum means, loosely translated, "Don't speak ill of the dead".  When the loss is a death, the anger is usually directed away from the deceased and toward family members, medical personnel, or God.  In other loss the anger is often much more visible and much more often aimed at the lost object.  Nonetheless anger is an immediate, common, and inevitable response to loss.  Anger with a lost loved one is an integral part of grief.

6) Sadness and Despair:
Sadness is a normal, healthy response to any misfortune.  "Most, if not all, .... intense episodes of sadness," says John Bowlby, "are elicited by the loss, or expected loss, either of a loved person or else of familiar and loved places and social roles.  A Sad person knows who or what he has lost, and yearns for his (or its) return."  Sadness can range from momentary distress over the loss of an election to the deep sadness felt over the death of a spouse.

When sorrow is coupled with fear and a sense of futility about the future, that is despair.  We generally reserve despair to describe a loss that darkens the prospects for a meaningful future.

7) Somatization:
Up to this point we have considered grief in terms of its emotional components; the emotions that underlie the distress.  But there are also physical components.  Physiological symptoms are also caused be grief, and may be quite powerful.  Lindemann has identified somatic signs common in acute grief: "Sensations of somatic distress occurring in waves lasting from twenty minutes to an hour at a time, a feeling of tightness in the throat, choking with shortness of breath, need for signing, an empty feeling in the abdomen, lack of muscular power, and an intense subjective distress describe as tension or mental pain."

Bereavement affects one's physical well-being.  Headaches, insomnia, loss of appetite, weight loss, fatigue, dizziness, and indigestion, are all common to the experience of grief.  unless they persist in an intensified way, these soatic and behavioral symptoms should be regarded as normal.  The whole of one's being grieves a loss.

THE UNIQUENESS OF GRIEF
Whatever is said about grief in general must be understood in the light of the fact that each instance is unique.  Grief is a particular response to a particular loss of a particular relationship at a particular time.  The form that a particular instance of grief takes is shaped by a number of factors.

1) Intensity of attachment:
The intensity of the attachment that we have to a lost person or an object is a major factor.  That intensity is essentially unrelated to the length of time we have been involved with the person.  Attachment has to do with an investment of the self.  the person or object becomes a part of our inner world, and so the loss will deplete our very self.

2) Complexity of attachment:
We have indicated already that attachments may have a strong positive meaning, a strong negative meaning, or a mix of the two. The form grief takes in a particular instance is determined in part by the mix of positive and negative feelings in the now broken attachment.  That grief is always unique to a particular situation becomes less and less surprising.

THE UNPREDICTABILITY OF GRIEF

If grief in any given instance is unique, it follows that it is unpredictable.  The nature of our attachment to a person or object is often formed without conscious awareness.  It is therefore difficult to anticipate the intensity or the complexity of grief.  People living together in a family may surprise on another by their widely varying reactions to the same loss.

As I finish typing this tonight, I've recently returned home from the Memorial Service for Fayetta Molby.  Fayetta is the wife of my mentor and friend Rev. Bob Molby.  I have to say that it was a wonderful though unique service.  Bob and Fayetta had served together in ministry even prior to their marriage and in those early years they participated in and performed revival services know as Singspirations.  This was a celebration filled with hymns and camp songs which Fayetta had long loved.  Bob and Fayetta had such a long (63 years) marriage and are both blessed with such a large and loving family.  It was certainly one of the most moving Memorial Celebrations that I have ever attended.

Please pray for Bob and his family for comfort in their grieving process.  No matter how much experience and training Bob has in these situations, it is not the same when it's you and your family going through it.

Hopefully, I'll be able to meet Bob for lunch sometime in the next week or two and I plan to loan him a copy of this book along with another book that I believe he will enjoy.

In addition I hope that I've inspired at least one of you to purchase a copy of "All Our Losses / All Our Griefs".

All Our Losses / All Our Griefs

May this day find you all well and richly blessed.

In His Grace,
Roy