On Death

Yesterday morning I had to take Maddie to the Dentist as she's starting to get her wisdom teeth in already.  Our Dentist and my good friend Paul Bacino gave her a script for an antibiotic as she had some swelling in the lymph nodes in her neck and he wanted that cleared up before she had oral surgery for the tooth that is coming in.  

While waiting for the script to be filled I ran into Dwayne Slunicko who told me that Kathy Stinson, a friend of ours and the companion of our landlord Dale Slunicko had passed away earlier that morning.  She had been in the Hospice House for the last few days, but she had been battling cancer for many, many years.  Kathy was always a wonderful lady and my wife Gail always thought the world of her and had made it a priority to pray for Kathy's health all these many years.  

I was very sad to hear of her passing but at the same time one cannot help but feel a sense of joy for her.  As I told Dwayne, we morn for ourselves as we miss having our loved one with us but I said to him "imagine the wonderful day she is having today".  Praise God that she is no longer in pain and she is now in his all loving, all gracious, and all encompassing embrace.  Ours should always be tears of joy for the beauty and love that our loved one is experiencing at that moment of passing from this world into the next.  A world that I nor anyone else can tell you what it exactly is like, all I can tell you is it's a world where we are reunited with the Almighty and whatever that is like has to be amazing!

Here is a link to Kathy's short obituary.  Much, much more could have been said about her and I'm sure given the circumstances she may likely have written this or at the very least reviewed it before her death.  She was a lovely lady and Gail and I shall miss her in this world, but we look forward to seeing her again in the next.

Obituary for Kathy Stinson


At the Gallery we frequently have people bring in mementos of loved ones that they've recently lost.  Today an elderly lady came in with a certificate that she wanted framed.  The certificate was her brother's for his Masters degree in Music.  She had just returned home from attending his funeral in Florida and she said it was the only thing from him that she now had.  

We picked out the framing for it and she gave me the go ahead on the order.  Afterwards she just wandered around the Gallery looking at the art, but she returned to the order counter several times to touch the certificate and look at it with very sad eyes.  Finally she said goodbye and I gave her a short blessing and told her to take care of herself.  It was so sad to see her and how difficult it was for her to leave behind the only thing she had of her brother.  One of the rewards of what we do is helping people to preserve their precious memories and memorabilia.

As I drive to and from work each day I pass a small mortuary.  It seems that recently they have viewings or services pretty much each day.  (In fact I've done this for the last two nights in a row) Every time I go by and the lot is full of cars I shut off my radio and say out loud a short prayer for the friends, family and loved ones of the departed individual.  Praising God for His grace and asking for comfort for all those who cared for and are grieving the loss of their loved one.

For me death has seemed to always define my own life.  I've always made a point of going to funerals of those I've known as for whatever reason it is very important to me to pay my last respects.

Of course we really don't go to funerals for the person that has passed rather we either go for ourselves or for the other friends, family and loved ones of the deceased.  But none the less I have always had the incredible compulsion to go to the services of my family, friends and loved ones.  My older brother Merrill and his wife Karen and I even traveled all the way to New Mexico to attend the service and internment of my father's older brother Elton Karlen.

I can think back to funeral's that have really had impacts on me and I can outline transformations in my own life.  Some were good, some were very bad, some helped me focus my life, some left me wandering and unsettled.  Death is sometimes just as transforming to the living as the dead.  If we are aware of this power that it has over us, perhaps we can then make sure that it is always for the best and not something destructive.

A great tool towards that end is the book; "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" by Kenneth Mitchell & Herbert Anderson.  It's one of the best books I've read thus far and one I truly need to go back and read again.

The book "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" on Amazon.

If nothing else witnessing a death is a wake up call to all the rest of us, to always tell those whom you love that you do love them.  As none of us is assured of tomorrow, at least not tomorrow in this world.

In His Love & Grace Always,
Roy

35th Class Reunion and meeting with an old college friend.

Class of 1978 Chamberlain, SD
Photo taken 7/13/2013 at the Reunion Banquet
WmRoy Karlen photo

Well.... last weekend (July 12 & 13) was my 35th High School Reunion back in good old Chamberlain, South Dakota.  It's hard to believe it's been 35 years ago that I graduated from High School.  At times when I think back it seems like it was so long ago but then other times I remember going off to SDSU (South Dakota State University) in the fall like it was yesterday.  In fact I think I was going to my freshman orientation pretty close to 35 years ago from right about now.  That was a great time so exciting and I remember vividly the dance we had there in the evening.  Which honestly seems odd to think of because neither of my kid's had dances for their orientation sessions.  Of course Creath went to a Baptist College so that's understandable and UNL (University of Nebraska in Lincoln) is so very big that I suppose they couldn't really pull something like that off.

Class of 1978 Chamberlain SD
Photo taken 7/13/2013
WmRoy Karlen Photo

Class of 1978 Chamberlain SD
Photo taken 7/12/2013
WmRoy Karlen Photo

I'm not sure exactly how many of my classmates actually made it home for the reunion as some were there for the gathering on Friday night that didn't make it to the events on Saturday and some just showed up Saturday for the 'official photo' at the Banquet.  Unfortunately though we had more folks at the Friday night event and more at the bar on Saturday night than were in the photo at the banquet.  Looking at the photos it looks like 22 of us were actually captured on film which isn't a bad showing for a class of 98 people.  It was a great gathering and I enjoyed visiting with folks I really only see every few years.  Some of them I don't think I'd seen since our graduation day to be honest.  

Friday night I spent quite a bit of time talking to my good friend Greg Powell who of course I have kept in contact with and whom I talk to on the phone on a fairly regular basis.  Greg's wife Terri and my wife Gail spent a good part of the evening on Friday night visiting while Greg and I focused on our classmates and they decided that we should make arrangements sometime to meet in Sioux Falls for dinner or something.  That would be great as we both just love Greg and Terri and we so rarely get to spend time together.  Saturday night the Powell's were in Sioux Falls to attend the wedding for Greg's younger brother Brad's oldest daughter.  I haven't seen Brad since College but from what Greg tells me he's doing very well and has a great family.  

I was asked to give the invocation at the banquet which I was happy to do for all the alumni.  Shared some of my own words along with a prayer adapted from the writings of St. Francis of Assisi.

While in Chamberlain we stayed with and had a great visit with my older brother Merrill Jr. and his wife Karen.  Jr. and I went out on Saturday to see Mother at the Ranch and she coerced us each into having a slice of pecan pie (didn't take much effort on her part for me as this is my favorite kind of pie and nobody makes it like Mother) as well as a slice of fresh strawberry pie.  Mother has always baked great pies and it has sad to say been too many years since I've gotten up to enjoy one.  We had a nice visit with her and my sister Laura who now lives with Mother.

On Sunday we went to Church with Jr. and Karen at the United Church of Christ in Chamberlain.  Their new Pastor seems like a good guy and gave a good sermon even though I was very tired from staying up late the night before.  I always enjoy visiting the UCC in Chamberlain as it brings back many memories from my youth.

While Gail and I went up to attend my reunion Creath came home from Sioux Falls to babysit the cats and dogs here at home.  Otherwise there would be nobody here to let the girls out since Madeline and her friend Danielle were still working their way back to Omaha from Maine where they had spent a little over a week with Danielle's grandparents.  Maddie got to go into New York City and Boston while she was back east.  They had a great time with Danielle's family there and Danielle's grandparents just loved Maddie to pieces.  They told her she was welcome to come and stay with them anytime even without Danielle.  The grandfather is a big collector of albums and he gave Maddie several old classic rock albums, among them two Foreigner albums which I threatened to snatch from her.

Madeline made it home late on Saturday the 13th and had a chance to have a good visit with Creath before he headed back to Sioux Falls on Sunday afternoon.  He left before we made it back home from Chamberlain but left his car with us which needed some work done and drove my car back to Sioux Falls.  So I had his car repaired this past week and yesterday (July 21st) Gail and I drove up to Sioux Falls and traded cars with him.  We had intended to attend Church in Sioux Falls but we forgot to set the alarm and over slept so we didn't get to Sioux Falls until 12:30 and we just took Creath out for lunch at the Old Chicago.  We didn't get to visit with him for very long unfortunately as he had to go into work.  Gail and I did a bit of shopping (I know, LOL we come from Omaha and go shopping in Sioux Falls) and left Sioux Falls a little after 2:00 pm.

I had earlier in the week contacted one of my old college buddies Kirk Jensen who lives near Beresford, SD.  It seems that whenever we go up North we're always rushing to get home and I never have a chance to drop in and see Kirk.  It had been many, many years since I'd seen him last and honestly both of us have had major life changes since then.  Well this trip I knew we would only be in Sioux Falls a short time and we had nothing pressing to get back to Omaha for so it was the perfect time to try and get together with Kirk.  

We spent about three hours visiting with Kirk and his wife LaJean, and had a wonderful visit.  Enjoyed the rhubarb cobbler with ice cream as well as the great deal of reminiscing that Kirk and I did while our wives visited.  Gail and LaJean seemed to get along well which was good because Kirk and I seemed to quickly settle back into our old relationship.  We even discussed politics and religion and just as we have never agreed we were able to be great friends and enjoy the conversation.  Interestingly enough we have now traded places with Kirk now being the more conservative and me being to the left of him on several topics.  LOL, I would have never guessed that would happen.  

Was great seeing you Kirk and meeting your lovely wife.  I sure hope we're able to keep in touch better than we have for the last 31 years.  Perhaps I'll see if we can work out getting Mr. Forman and Mr. Powell to meet with Kirk and I sometime, it would be even better if we could convince my old roommate Kent Haselhorst to meet with us all.  I genuinely miss all of you guys so much and would thoroughly enjoy a gathering such as that.

Kirk Jensen of Beresford, SD & Roy Karlen of Omaha, NE
Looking good there Kirk!
July 21, 2013
WmRoy Karlen photo

Gail drove all the way up to Sioux Falls and part of the way back so I used that time to do some reading and writing for ELM.  Our next (and last class) for ELM is in Schuyler, NE and it will be a three day session on Presbyterian Polity.  That will be the last gathering for us and then there will just be the graduation in Grand Island which will only be a couple hours long.

We got back into Omaha about 8:15 pm last night and after being gone all day and being so late we decided to just go out to eat so we stopped at the house for just a minute and then slipped over to Applebee's.  I have to laugh at us as we always complain that the kids only ever want to eat at either Applebee's (Maddie) or Chili's (Creath) and here when we have a chance to go someplace else we default to Applebee's.  LOL, well we both were very tired and didn't know what all would be open at that time on a Sunday night so it was just easier to go somewhere familiar.  Once Maddie is off to UNL we have planned to go out to eat on either Saturday or Sunday each week and to try different places.  I keep saying I'm going to start writing down places that I see or hear of that I'd like to try but of course I'm yet to get around to doing that.

Today marks four months to my 54th birthday so starting this week I am now training towards that date.  I of course was training up to my reunion (though I missed my goal body weight by 5 lbs) but since then I've let myself relax a bit and didn't adhere to my diet last week very well (put on 3 pounds too) and I only went to the gym twice last week.  Though I did hit every bodypart once.  This week I am kicking off a different regime focusing on somethings that I feel are lacking.  

Last week I did regular barbell bench presses for the first time in almost two years.  I've avoided them due to my shoulder injuries but I've brought my grip in a bit and I'm hoping that will be enough of a change to allow me to use this movement again.  I don't have any problems doing close grip barbell benches so I'll keep my fingers crossed.  For the last couple of years I've used barbell incline bench presses with a wide grip as the backbone of my chest routine for the most part.  By doing this I've managed to accomplish something that few ever do and that is that now my upper pectorals overshadow my lower pectoral.  Of course there really isn't an upper or lower pectoral but the way the muscle bellies develop it gives that appearance.  Most lifters focus on regular benches so much that they never build a decent upper chest.  I've kind of gone the other direction and will now try to rectify that by trying to bench again as well as throwing back in weighted dips along with continuing to do machine flies.

I have also modified my workout to focus more on deltoid training as my delts have never been to my liking.  On the night when I train delts I also train arms but I will lead off with delts and then at the end finish the workout with another set of delts.  It would make my day if I could get them to finally respond to training the way I'd like, my problem is my body is so pectoral and trapezius dominant that training my deltoids is always difficult.

I'm working on developing an online ministry project, however that is in the discussion and investigation stages and I'm not ready to announce that I've undertaken this project.  It may well be that the liability issues will not allow us to launch this project but I'm praying that I'll be able to work it out and that with the kind assistance of others from all over the world we'll be able to do some good for the world.  But again, I and the others I've contacted about this are uncertain about our own liabilities in doing this so we're trying to determine this before going any further.

I've been working a little bit every night sorting and shelving Jesse's books.  I put up the equivalent of eight 5 shelf bookcases and it looks like I will need to get three more 3 shelf bookcases.  I'll put these under the window in the basement and I'm hoping to slip away this afternoon and pick those up at the Furniture Mart.  That should give me enough room for all of Jesse's books along with what I already had on my own.  The hardest part is deciding how to organize them in a fashion where I'll be able to locate them if I'm working on a particular topic.

I'm anxious to get my library all set up as I'd like to be able to sit in the recliner I've put in there and spend time reading.  In sorting through the books I'm finding far, far too many that I want to read immediately.  LOL

May this week find you all richly blessed and thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read my ramblings.

In God's absolute and unending Love & Grace,
Roy

What a beautiful country church, I wish I knew where it is.
WmRoy Karlen

Prayers for friends and loved ones.

There can be do greater calling than to be called forth to
service to our Lord.  All of us Christians receive this calling,
will you respond?

Well this week has started off as a challenging one already.  However mixed within it all have been some moments of joy and celebration.

Sunday afternoon I went to Sunset Hills Baptist Church to witness the Ordination Celebration for my good friend (the new) Reverend Jason Workman.  Jason has taken a nontraditional path to ordination and this event was the culmination of many years of work and study for Jason.  I'm very proud of Jason and I can only hope to someday be half the man he is as an advocate of Christ.

Sadly though afterwards in visiting with my friend Tasha Helms I learned that my mentor Rev. Robert Molby's wife Fayetta had been taken to the hospital just that morning.  Fayetta has just recently been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.  I had already been trying to work my way over to talk to Bob about Fayetta but as soon as I learned this Tasha and I both immediately sought him out to learn more and to give what little comfort we might be allowed to give through God's assistance.  At that time Bob had little information other than she had been in considerable pain that morning and so he took her to the Emergency Room at Lakeside Hospital.  This morning I see on Bob's Facebook page that she has a bladder infection and some internal bleeding from an unknown source.  The Doctor's are hopeful though that she'll be home for the fourth.  Bob and Fayetta are blessed with a wonderful family and I know that their children and grandchildren will be happy to have Fayetta home with them to celebrate.  Please pray for Fayetta and for her treatments both for the cancer, the infection and for whatever is causing the bleeding.

Yesterday morning I awoke to some very sad news.  My friend and gym mate Brandon Stewart (who owns New Dawn Nutrition here in Omaha) posted that he had lost his Mother.  Brandon's Mother put in a three year battle with Pancreatic Cancer and I am deeply saddened because Brandon and I had been discussing how he and his brother were going to take some time off and go and spend a few days with their Mom.  Brandon is a Professional Men's Physique Competitor and has just done two (a week apart) back to back National shows.  In the first one in Las Vegas he finished at the top of his class and took second overall, at the second show (the larger of the two) in Los Angeles, he won his class and won the overall.  Brandon dedicated his win on Saturday to his Mom and I am so sorry and sad that he wasn't able to get down to see her in time.  I'm not sure if he talked to her after his win but I pray that he was able to.  Please pray for Brandon and his whole family I know he is genuinely hurting, even when you know the time is short it still is a terrible blow to lose a parent.

Never pass up a chance to visit your parents or children.  None of us knows how much time we have left in this world and don't put things off until it's just too late.  I'll be going back home myself for my 35th High School Reunion in about a week and a half and I will now make doubly sure to go and spend a bit of time talking to Mom.  I am very fortunate in that my own Mother is in excellent health (nothing like good genes!) but nonetheless she will be 87 in just a bit over a month and that's a good age for anyone man or woman.  I pray I'll be blessed with her being here with all of us Karlen kid's though for many, many more years.  If anyone I know should make it to 100 it would have to be my Mother.

No matter how old we get we always have a special connection to our Mothers.  That's not to say that some do not have strained relationships or even down right dysfunctional relationships with their Mothers, but in the end we should strive just as God strives, to reconcile our broken relationships with all people and who more so than with the very person that gave birth to you.  Again, this attachment and desire to be close to our Mother is a lifelong attachment.  I remember my Grandfather Fletcher telling me not too long before he passed away that he wished he could just lay down on the couch beside his mother once again and lay his head on her lap like he did when he was a little boy.  Just hearing him say those words again in my memory literally brings tears to my eyes.

A Mother's love is a love for all time, just like the love of our Lord

Yesterday Maddie had a pretty good scare.  Our oldest dog is our Cocker Spaniel 'Gracie', we've had Gracie ever since Maddie was 5 years old.  I doubt Maddie can really remember Gracie not being there and Gracie has always been the most attached to Maddie.  She follows her around the house and sleeps most of the time in Maddie's room.  If Maddie is home Gracie is most likely right there with her.  Well Gracie has since she was a puppy had occasional seizures.  Yesterday she had a very bad and very long seizure, afterwards she was unresponsive and her breathing was irregular.  Maddie was very scared and was crying afraid that Gracie was dying.  Gail took off at lunch and ran home to check on them both.  Fortunately by that time Gracie was breathing better but she was obviously very wore out from the exertion of the seizure and it wasn't until late in the evening that she seemed to be back to normal.

I told Maddie that she needs to understand that Gracie is an old girl and that it's possible that at some point her old body won't be able to handle one of these seizures.  I know one of Maddie's greatest fears is losing her puppy and it breaks my heart to know that it could happen anytime.  One of the things about being a farm kid like I am is you are used to the death of animals and you understand that it's just part of having animals around.

Maddie with Gracie, Maddie must be about 13 in this photo.
WmRoy Karlen photo

Creath and Maddie with Gracie when Gracie is a new arrival.
Maddie would be 5 in this photo and Creath 8 years old.
WmRoy Karlen photo

Maddie and Gracie in Maddie's Room.
Not sure how old Maddie is in this photo, she must be around 7 or so.
WmRoy Karlen photo

On Friday last week Gail and I went to the Bank of the West Concert at Memorial Park.  This was another huge show with the news saying an estimated 75,000 took in the show.  I really do not doubt that estimate, however Gail and I were able to find seating within view of the stage.  That really surprised me as we didn't get there until just a few minutes before the opening act started.  We just kept moving forward and spotted a place between two groups where we could easily fit in our folding chairs.

The opening act was a young woman named Morgan Leigh and her band.  She did a great job and I enjoyed her show though I found some of her lyrics and antics to be a bit risque but, I do realize that I have become a bit of a prude.  This risque style is of course common amount country acts which is what her style was.  Gail did question why they had a country act open for Loverboy and Pat Benatar .  Loverboy came on next and Gail immediately let out a laugh.  Before the show she had asked if I thought Mike Reno would come out in leather pants, I said I hoped not.  Well neither of us realized that he has gotten rather large in his later years and the sight of him caused Gail to laugh.  I think it also crushed some of her perceptions from her youth.

Pat Benatar and her husband Neil Giraldo were the headliner and I have to say they put on a whale of a show!  Neil Giraldo is still an amazing guitar player and it was impressive to watch and listen to him play.  I have to say it's great to see a couple that have been together so long on stage and appearing to still enjoy each other as well as loving what they're doing.

I'll confess that listening to these old songs brings back a strange mixture of joy and sadness.  Music strikes such a strong emotional cord and has so many memories attached to it that it's impossible to not be transported back at some point.  We all have good memories and not so good memories, things we are thankful for and things that we regret.  Thankful we are surrounded by a grace filled God and those events that we hold in regret will not be held against us.  For God's all encompassing and enveloping Grace is there for us, just waiting for us to recognize it and to reach for it.  Praise God!

I'm anxious for my upcoming 35th High School Reunion on July 12 & 13.  It will be so good to go back home and see old friends and family.  I'm hoping some of my friends that have not been to past reunions will make it this time.  I've reached out to several and asked them to come but whether or not they actually will show remains a mystery.  I have been asked to give a prayer at the banquet on Saturday night so I really need to sit down soon and put together just what I'd like to try and get across to my old classmates.

With that, I need to run for today.  May this day find you all engulfed in the Love of Christ and the Grace of God the Father.

Many, many blessings to you all!

Roy

The Lutheran Church in the small South Dakota town of Gayville.