On Death

Yesterday morning I had to take Maddie to the Dentist as she's starting to get her wisdom teeth in already.  Our Dentist and my good friend Paul Bacino gave her a script for an antibiotic as she had some swelling in the lymph nodes in her neck and he wanted that cleared up before she had oral surgery for the tooth that is coming in.  

While waiting for the script to be filled I ran into Dwayne Slunicko who told me that Kathy Stinson, a friend of ours and the companion of our landlord Dale Slunicko had passed away earlier that morning.  She had been in the Hospice House for the last few days, but she had been battling cancer for many, many years.  Kathy was always a wonderful lady and my wife Gail always thought the world of her and had made it a priority to pray for Kathy's health all these many years.  

I was very sad to hear of her passing but at the same time one cannot help but feel a sense of joy for her.  As I told Dwayne, we morn for ourselves as we miss having our loved one with us but I said to him "imagine the wonderful day she is having today".  Praise God that she is no longer in pain and she is now in his all loving, all gracious, and all encompassing embrace.  Ours should always be tears of joy for the beauty and love that our loved one is experiencing at that moment of passing from this world into the next.  A world that I nor anyone else can tell you what it exactly is like, all I can tell you is it's a world where we are reunited with the Almighty and whatever that is like has to be amazing!

Here is a link to Kathy's short obituary.  Much, much more could have been said about her and I'm sure given the circumstances she may likely have written this or at the very least reviewed it before her death.  She was a lovely lady and Gail and I shall miss her in this world, but we look forward to seeing her again in the next.

Obituary for Kathy Stinson


At the Gallery we frequently have people bring in mementos of loved ones that they've recently lost.  Today an elderly lady came in with a certificate that she wanted framed.  The certificate was her brother's for his Masters degree in Music.  She had just returned home from attending his funeral in Florida and she said it was the only thing from him that she now had.  

We picked out the framing for it and she gave me the go ahead on the order.  Afterwards she just wandered around the Gallery looking at the art, but she returned to the order counter several times to touch the certificate and look at it with very sad eyes.  Finally she said goodbye and I gave her a short blessing and told her to take care of herself.  It was so sad to see her and how difficult it was for her to leave behind the only thing she had of her brother.  One of the rewards of what we do is helping people to preserve their precious memories and memorabilia.

As I drive to and from work each day I pass a small mortuary.  It seems that recently they have viewings or services pretty much each day.  (In fact I've done this for the last two nights in a row) Every time I go by and the lot is full of cars I shut off my radio and say out loud a short prayer for the friends, family and loved ones of the departed individual.  Praising God for His grace and asking for comfort for all those who cared for and are grieving the loss of their loved one.

For me death has seemed to always define my own life.  I've always made a point of going to funerals of those I've known as for whatever reason it is very important to me to pay my last respects.

Of course we really don't go to funerals for the person that has passed rather we either go for ourselves or for the other friends, family and loved ones of the deceased.  But none the less I have always had the incredible compulsion to go to the services of my family, friends and loved ones.  My older brother Merrill and his wife Karen and I even traveled all the way to New Mexico to attend the service and internment of my father's older brother Elton Karlen.

I can think back to funeral's that have really had impacts on me and I can outline transformations in my own life.  Some were good, some were very bad, some helped me focus my life, some left me wandering and unsettled.  Death is sometimes just as transforming to the living as the dead.  If we are aware of this power that it has over us, perhaps we can then make sure that it is always for the best and not something destructive.

A great tool towards that end is the book; "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" by Kenneth Mitchell & Herbert Anderson.  It's one of the best books I've read thus far and one I truly need to go back and read again.

The book "All Our Losses / All Our Grief" on Amazon.

If nothing else witnessing a death is a wake up call to all the rest of us, to always tell those whom you love that you do love them.  As none of us is assured of tomorrow, at least not tomorrow in this world.

In His Love & Grace Always,
Roy