Funeral for Jeremy Caldeira, 12-16-17

Order of Service – Funeral for 
Jeremy Caldeira - 12/16/17

Prelude:

Call to Worship:
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evildoers assail me to devour my flesh, my adversaries and foes—
they shall stumble and fall.
3 Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear;
though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident.
4 One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after:
to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple.
5 For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will set me high on a rock.
6 Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me!
8 “Come,” my heart says, “seek his face!”  Your face, Lord, do I seek.
9 Do not hide your face from me.
(a reading from the 27th Psalm)


Greeting:
We have come together within the strengthening fellowship of friends and family:
to remember the life of Jeremy;
to share our grief with God and with one another;
to reaffirm our faith in God's unfailing goodness;
to hear again God's promise of resurrection;
and to commend Jeremy to God's everlasting care.

Music:      “Beautiful Boy” John Lennon

Opening Prayer:
Gracious God, your love endures forever.  Your faithfulness is unfailing and all your promises are true.  The movement of your Spirit is evident even in our darkest moments.  Attend to us now in our grief as we trust you will.  
Speak words of comfort to our hearts.  Open us up to receive your hope.
O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our brother Jeremy.
We thank you for giving him to us, his family and friends,
to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage.
In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn.
Give us faith to see death as the gate of eternal life,
so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth,
until by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Music:   The Old Rugged Cross

A reading from the Old Testament:
Psalm 91
Assurance of God’s Protection
1 You who live in the shelter of the Most High,
    who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
2 will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress;
    my God, in whom I trust.”
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence;
4 he will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
5 You will not fear the terror of the night,
    or the arrow that flies by day,
6 or the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
    or the destruction that wastes at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
8 You will only look with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord your refuge,
    the Most High your dwelling place,
10 no evil shall befall you,
    no scourge come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways.
12 On their hands they will bear you up,
    so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the adder,
    the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot.
14 Those who love me, I will deliver;
    I will protect those who know my name.
15 When they call to me, I will answer them;
    I will be with them in trouble,
    I will rescue them and honor them.

A reading from the New Testament:
Romans 7:14-25 (NRSV) The Inner Conflict
14 For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin. 15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. 17 But in fact it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I that do it, but sin that dwells within me.
21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, 23 but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with my mind I am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh I am a slave to the law of sin.

Music: Sugar Ray – Someday

Message:  Pastor Roy Karlen – Woodlawn Christian Church
Later in the service, several of Jeremy's family and friends will be invited forward to reflect upon and remember Jeremy's life and so rather than my eulogizing Jeremy I will instead bring to you a message from our mutual creator.  A message from our God.

The other day there was a terrible accident and as we all know far too well, Jeremy was killed in a vehicle roll-over.  At times like these we are left with the lingering question in our minds... “why” why did it have to happen.  I am certain that many of Jeremy's friends and members of the family, have asked this very question over and over this last week and a half.  Why, why, why... why God?

Far, far greater minds than I, have attempted to tackle this simple but monumental question.... why God?  I approach this topic with no small amount of humility and an understanding of my insignificance in attempting to lend my voice among those who are or were giants among Theologians.

But, I come to this question of why, with my many years of studying not only scripture... but studying about scripture, with my many years of individual study with my late mentor the Reverend Doctor Jesse Brown, a Duke professor of Old Testament Theology, a Dead Sea Scrolls Scholar, a man who was an intimate friend with the late Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. and a man who himself was an early voice in the Civil Rights Movement.  I add to this my own life experiences in my 58 years on this earth, and a relationship with my Lord that has often been extremely contentious, a relationship where I have never shied from asking why, and even for many years being angry with and denying God.  Through all of this, I have arrived at a relationship with my God where I am at peace with His being and perhaps more importantly at peace with my own being and my place in His Kingdom.  So much at peace with God that I felt His calling to become one of His advocates in this world.

Why, why God... why do the young have to perish.  Why... just when someone seems to finally have gotten their life in order do they suddenly have a terrible accident and pass away.  But, the why's don't stop at death, it can be why did the beautiful young girl have to have an accident and become disabled, why was the infant born with fetal alcohol syndrome... why... why... why, why did it have to happen.  The why's simply.... never end...

Often when confronted with this difficult and frankly extremely uncomfortable question we ministers, as well as nearly all, lay people will just say something along the lines of “We don't understand God's ways” or worse yet “It is all part of God's plan”.  I'll be honest with you, I cringe when I hear these statements... it doesn't paint a very pretty picture of the God that I love with all of my being.

We don't understand God's ways... this I agree with, but not in the fashion that most making these statements are implying.  We don't understand God because He is God... and He as God sees the big picture, the whole picture, and we're here living in a snapshot of our life at any given moment.  As we get older we hopefully gain an understanding of the snapshots that have gone on ahead and can apply that knowledge to the moments to be photographed still ahead, but none the less, we live in a very finite time frame in this world.  God, of course, is infinite, His being and understanding is obviously different than our own.

Let me try to share with you a little insight that I have gained from the snapshots of my life thus far.  We don't understand God's ways partly because God is entirely a being of Love, Grace, and Forgiveness.  We as imperfect, egotistical, envious and often angry humans have difficulty grasping even for a moment the depth of the love that God has for His children and His creation.  God loves each of us so very much and all that He desires is a relationship of mutual love with each of us. 

But, He does not and will not force us to come to Him and love Him.  Rather, His desire is that we of our own free-will come to love Him.  God is always in pursuit of us... trust me He chased me, and chased me.  I tried my best not to love Him, but ultimately I found that I could not resist.  We are all granted this “free-will”, this liberating yet terrifying freedom which theologians have discussed for many, many centuries.  God gave us each free-will to decide for ourselves if we wished to love God, and if we wished to have a relationship with Him.  This free-will though had to by virtue of it's fully being free-will... it had to spill out into every aspect of our lives.  We as autonomous beings and not biological robots can and do make thousands if not millions of decisions each and every day.

Most of the time these decisions are benign, but sometimes we make a very bad decision and it can prove disastrous for us as well as for others.  Back in November of 2014, near Humboldt, NE a young 16-year-old teen was killed in an automobile accident.  Now this young man was a good student, a popular youth in the community and he was a hard worker; working on a Dairy Farm even though he was a 'town kid'.  Early one morning on his way home from milking he either fell asleep or was just so groggy that he ran a stop sign and his small car was struck by a semi... he died at the scene.  He had been very active in the area youth group of the local Christian Church which is Pastored by my friend Howard Blecha.  The local youth were all in shock and of course the question of why, why would God do this, kept springing up on their dialogues on Facebook.  I choose to address this concern for them in a post on my blog and once the teens in that area started to share the link it blew up to several thousand views within hours. 

The gist of the blog post was that God does not venture to further his Kingdom by the death of a 16-year-old boy.  God did not kill that youngster.  Unfortunately, the young man made a decision to drive when he was simply too exhausted to drive safely.  A decision that not only impacted his life but the driver of the semi-tractor, along with an elderly driver whose pickup was struck by the wreckage, all of the EMT's, the medical staff, and ultimately the youth that knew the boy and questioned his death.

God, did not kill that boy... but what God did do, was to use the situation to direct my friend Howard and others to minister to the area youth.  To hopefully, expose to them the radical love that our Lord has for each of us.  To use Howard's loving and steadfast embrace to convey to them the strength and glory of God.  God also directed me to pen that blog post which apparently by the number of views, and the number of shared links, must have meant something to many of those youths.  

In both the Gospel of Luke and the Gospel of Matthew we read these words spoken by Jesus.
Luke 13:34 (NRSV)
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!

This verse and others speak to God's allowing us free-will and to His dismay and disappointment when we fail to respond to his Love held out for us.  God wishes to cover us with His 'wings' just as it says here in Luke, and Matthew as well, and as it says in Psalm 91 verses 3 & 4 which I read earlier:
3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
    and from the deadly pestilence;
4 he will cover you with his pinions,
    and under his wings you will find refuge

Unfortunately, as Luke and Matthew convey... we don't always respond to God's love.  We all too often make bad decisions and walk away.

But if we're attentive and tuned into our relationship with God, He will use us to further His Kingdom and minister to His children. God's love and ministry is in all those here who have turned out to support and hold up this grieving family.

Our need to come to God in love and relationship out of our own free-will is such an extremely important element of our salvation that God has allowed all of the other bad decisions that arise out of free-will to enter into this world and our existence.  All of the evil that is allowed to be manifested in the hearts of man is a result of the absolute need for us to individually make our commitment to our all loving and all gracious God.  This is how important it is for us to love God of our own accord... think about that folks... this love for God is so, so vitally important. 

Through all of what life throws at us because of our free-will and because of others free-will in turn... know that your God loves you.  

God does not cause tragedy to happen... but what He can do and what He will do if we are attentive is to show to us in these times of darkness and dis-pare His love for us.  Good can come out of tragedy, and even evil acts... if we are determined to do good in the name of God.

God did not cause the accident that killed Jeremy, human error... those poor decisions that we humans all too often make caused the accident.  If we take nothing else away from this tragedy, let it be that no one gathered here repeats the errors that led up to Jeremy's unfortunate passing at far, far too early of an age. God did not wish for Jeremy to die that evening and God did not cause the accident...

But what God has done is to demonstrate to each of you His love for you all... He has reached out to you and brought you here to His house, where if you allow Him he will put His arm of comfort around you and bear you up in your time of grief.  Just as Christ grieved over the death of Lazarus, God grieves over the death of Jeremy.

As one called to be God's advocate and at times like these God's voice I declare to you all... unequivocally... God LOVES you...

God wants a relationship with each of you, He calls to you to come to Him, place your weary and worried head upon His shoulder... pray to Him of your sorrows and He will grant you His peace.  Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

As the words of the Apostle Paul spoke to all of us: 
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Finally, let us find comfort in these wonderful and well known words in the 23rd Psalm, these words that remind us that no matter where we go... our Lord is with us, and that no matter how rough the seas of life may be, that if we come to Him and cling to Him... those turbulent seas will become still waters.

Psalm 23 King James Version (KJV)
23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Eulogies and Reflections:
At this time I would like to call forward Michael Anderson, Mary Skidmore, Donna Caldeira, and Justina Sheehan to share some of their memories of Jeremy.

Closing Prayer:
The family invites you all to join them in further celebration of  Jeremy's life and a time of shared remembrances and closure, by joining with them at a reception in the Church's fellowship hall immediately following the service.   Please allow this closing prayer to serve also as the blessing for that meal.

Let us pray:
O God, our Strength and our Redeemer, Giver of life, and Conqueror of death, we open our hearts to you just as we are.  We celebrate your gift of life freely given but are grieved by a sense of loss in the face of death.  The love which binds us to one another leaves us aching as ties are broken.  Accept our tears as emblems of devotion, and transform them into waters of life to nourish us in the days ahead.

We trust you.  We love you.  We know in Christ that your love is everlasting.  Nothing can separate any of us from your abiding care.  With you is eternal life.
With confidence, we now entrust Jeremy to your unfailing love and overflowing goodness.  Through the power that raised Christ from the dead to live eternally with you, lift up this, your child, to life fulfilled beyond our imagining.  We give you but your own, enfold him in your everlasting arms, hold him for he is yours.
Now strengthen us, through the gift of your Spirit, to face into the future with confidence that you stand with us.  Grant that the changes of life may leave us stronger as we journey through life.

Reassured of your abiding presence, help us to knit more firmly the ties that bind us one to another.  Renewed by your love, help us to love in ever larger circles so as to embrace your people everywhere till at last we are all united eternally through Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

Benediction:

Exit Music: You are my Sunshine

Committal Service:
We selfishly want to hold on to Jeremy. It brings great pain to let go. Living in the resurrection hope of our Lord Jesus Christ, in the trust of a loving God and in the promise of eternal life, we now commit his body to its place of rest. We will continue to mourn our loss, but his laughter will warm the kingdom of God. We will continue to love Jeremy, but God will now take care of him. We will continue to carry Jeremy in our thoughts, but he will be kept safe in God's hands. Receive him in the arms of your mercy, O God, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace.

Hear now - Isaiah 40:28-31
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
    and strengthens the powerless.
30 Even youths will faint and be weary,
    and the young will fall exhausted;
31 but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
    they shall walk and not faint. 

Let us pray:
In sure and certain hope that, as Christ lived and was the first to rise from the dead, we too shall have new life and will join our heavenly Father along with all the saints in a new and better place. We, therefore, commit our brother Jeremy to the earth from which he was made, and lay to rest this mortal body that it might put on immortality. The Lord bless him and keep him; the Lord make his face shine upon him and be gracious to him; the Lord look upon him with favor and give him eternal peace.  Amen

Hear now a reading from the 1st Chapter of 2nd Corinthians:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all consolation, who consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God.

Believing in the Resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we now entrust Jeremy to the care of Almighty God and we ask Our Father to lead Jeremy to the room made ready just for him. As we now commit his body to its final resting place; we commend his spirit to its new home. Rest eternal grant him, and let God's light perpetual shine upon him. Almighty God, as you once called our brother Jeremy into this life, so now you have called him into life everlasting. 

Let us pray together the prayer that our Lord taught to us............

This concludes the graveside services.

May the Lord bless you and keep you and may His strong arms uphold you and comfort you in the days, weeks and years ahead.  Go in His peace.