Below please find the manuscript for the funeral for Joyce Hiler that I performed at the Union Church here in Lake City earlier today. May God's peace and comfort be to the family in this time of mourning.
In Christ,
Roy
Order of Service – Funeral for Joyce Hiler
Prelude:
Entrance:
Call to Worship:
Heavenly Father, You have assured us that through Your Son all shall have eternal life. Trusting in Your faithfulness and mercy, we await that glory filled day when You raise us all to life in triumph and we shall stand before Your throne. Standing there with all Your creation made new in Christ Jesus, basking in the glory of Your eternal Heavenly Kingdom.
Greeting:
Today we have come together within the strengthening fellowship of friends and family: to praise God for the life of Joyce Hiler;
to share our grief with God and with one another;
to reaffirm our faith in God's unfailing goodness;
to hear again God's promise of resurrection;
and to commend Joyce to God's everlasting care.
Music: In The Garden
Opening Prayer:
Father of all mercies and God of all consolation, you pursue us with untiring love
and dispel the shadow of death with the bright dawn of life. Give courage to this family in their loss and sorrow. Be their refuge and strength, O Lord, reassure them of your continuing love and lift them from the depths of grief into the peace and light of your presence.
Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, by dying has destroyed our death, and by rising, restored our life. Your Holy Spirit, our comforter, speaks for us in groans too deep for words. Come alongside your people, remind them of your eternal presence and give them your comfort and strength. Amen
A Reading from the Old Testament:
Psalm 23 King James Version (KJV)
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
A Reading from the New Testament:
1 Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Hymn: Lord, You Have Come to the Lakeshore
Message:
Pastor Roy Karlen - Woodlawn Christian Church
Joyce Hiler, age 90, passed from this world in which we reside and into the Kingdom of our Lord and Savior on Monday, October 8, 2018, at Shady Oaks Retirement Center.
Joyce was born at home in Glidden, Iowa on June 2, 1928, to George and Mary Ann Astleford. Joyce was a town girl, raised in the big city of Glidden where her family lived.
On October 26, 1945, she and Paul Hiler were united in marriage. Their wedding was held in the Parsonage of the Methodist Church here in Lake City. Joyce's sister Anna Marie was her Maid of Honor and the wedding was a rather quick event, due to Anna Marie needing to leave to go play in the Homecoming Band. Paul and Joyce then went to the rollerskating rink after the wedding, which was appropriate as that is where they first met and began their relationship together.
The young newlyweds spent their honeymoon at Federal Dam in Minnesota. When they arrived they went to the grocery store for supplies and the first meal that Joyce prepared for Paul as husband and wife was tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. The family told me that ever after, that was always one of Paul's favorite meals.
When I asked the family to describe Joyce for me they told me that her greatest quality was her unconditional love for her family. She loved her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren so very, very much. She was never one to be judgmental and that everyone that met her just loved her.
They told me that she had a quick wit and how that wit stayed with her until the very end. Not long before she passed she had an appointment with the ophthalmologist, he was checking on the progression of her macular degeneration, to which she asked: “are you calling me a degenerate”. I'm sure the doctor was right then and there... made very well aware of her sharp wit... and will remember this quick exchange for years to come.
I was told how if you came to visit she could rustle up a meal in no time at all and that it was always great food. The family shared with me how they always had a special meal that was made for every birthday in the family... this special meal was homemade pizza and red cake. This was a long-running tradition and even after Lonny moved away the family here would have pizza and red cake on his birthday to celebrate and in his honor.
Terry remembered and shared how this tradition began, he remembered going to a restaurant in Storm Lake in or around 1960 and the family having pizza for the very first time. Well, Joyce enjoyed it so much she went home and worked on cooking pizza until she perfected her own homemade pizza. The family told me how much the grandchildren enjoyed helping to make their own special birthday pizzas and how they each got to have their own little pizza made with their personal favorite toppings. They also told me how the grandchildren now prize these little pizza pans that they used to help their grandmother bake their special pizzas. What an absolutely wonderful and precious memory this truly is... God bless Joyce for making such a lasting impression on her family and giving them such a gift to always remember her by. In just a little bit we'll all sit down together and enjoy a meal of pizza and red cake in Joyce's honor and memory.
Joyce enjoyed and worked with a variety of different crafts. She did upholstery, she did oil painting, and painted on porcelain. Particularly, she enjoyed making porcelain dolls and dressing them. For approximately ten years she had the first place doll in the doll making contest up in Fort Dodge, then finally one year... she got second place and she told everyone she was done... and she was...
She enjoyed doing ceramics with her sister and the family shall long cherish those pieces that they have from her including a nativity set that Bill said they still use each year. She was simply a craftier-extraordinary able to whip out an Afghan in a day.
Joyce was a collector, collecting and enjoying various types of figurines, Hummels, bird figurines, plates, and especially dolls.
She liked to share coffee and conversation with her friends and family. Her sister Mary and she would have coffee together nearly every day. She also enjoyed having tea parties with her family.
She was a life-long member of the democratic party and she worked the polls for countless elections. Joyce was always willing and interested to talk about politics and loved to do so. She was a devoted member of the Methodist Church in Lake City and then the Union Church once the Presbyterian and Methodist Churches merged. She loved to cook and to decorate for the church, working on many, many funeral lunches and other events through the years. She also taught Sunday School for the children.
Joyce loved to babysit her grandchildren and told her husband Paul that “If the kids want us to watch the grand-kids we will watch the grand-kids.” She enjoyed her grandchildren immensely.
The boys remembered going on family outings to “Center Lake” which is between Lake Okoboji and Spirit Lake. The family had a homemade pickup topper/camper that they used for these outings and on one outing Terry and Bill remember Lonny trying to make bacon on the campfire. They said it looked perfect but that when you went to eat it the bacon just crumbled into ashes. Their father for years to follow always said: “it was the best bacon I never had”. The boys also remember that years later their mother once accidentally burned and ruined the bacon and how their father was upset. Their quick-witted mother pointed out “you liked it when Lonny burned it”.
Terry and Bill told me that their mother never raised her voice to them... once when Terry had misbehaved in some fashion she simply said “shame on you” which was apparently enough to correct any future aberrant behavior. You'll have to ask Terry or his brothers for more details on that story. The family also shared that Bill as the youngest was always the good one, it seems he to this day reminds his wife that “my mother loves me”. I suspect you'll have to talk to Bill or Julie for clarity about that story as well...
The family also told me about how Terry likes to compete in auto racing, once his mother went to watch a race and Terry ended up going off the track. That was the one and only time she would go and watch him race, she wasn't about to watch her son wreck. Bill also told how when he wrestled in High School that his mother went to one match, after watching the other wrestle apparently trying to hurt her boy, she had enough of that as well and never came to another wrestling match.
The boys said that their mother was never much of an animal person but that their father loved animals. He had Golden Labs and one particular lab was named Goldie, it seems that Goldie viewed Joyce as a bit of a rival as whenever Joyce would go along with Paul and Goldie for a ride in the truck Goldie would slide over and try to block Joyce from being able to get in. Animals can be a bit possessive of their humans and it seems that Goldie was very fond of Paul.
Paul and Joyce raised their three boys on their farm near Sherwood. Joyce continued to live on the farm even after Paul's death in 1997 until eventually she moved into Lake City and lived in an apartment. She then moved into Shady Oaks in December of 2015. Within a couple of days of moving into Shady Oaks, she suffered a severe stroke and the family was called in as she was unresponsive. But that evening when the nurse came in to turn her over she sat up and started talking like nothing had happened. This wasn't her first stroke, she suffered a number of strokes through the years but always seemed to bounce back even when the physicians had believed that she wouldn't. She was in Rockwell City when she had her first stroke and rather than call an ambulance she drove herself to the hospital in Lake City. She never wanted to complain and she never wanted to bother anyone. Though she had a “Link to Life” button she didn't like to use it because she didn't want to make a fuss. Joyce never wanted a lot of attention and if she's watching right now we can only wonder what she thinks of all this attention. But she was and is greatly loved by her family and friends and she certainly deserves these moments of celebration and remembrance.
Julie said that Joyce was a great mother-in-law and that she had been so blessed to have her. She said that Joyce always knew what Joyce wanted and how to get it, she'd simply state what she wanted to be done and then say “isn't that right Julie”.
There are so many other memories and stories about Joyce and her life that need to be shared, so please do share them at the luncheon immediately after the service. The family also invites those that wish to stop at Bill and Julie's home after the burial to enjoy each others company and to spend more time reminiscing and visiting.
In closing, let me share with you Proverbs 31:10-31:
Proverbs 31:10-31 New International Version (NIV)
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Joyce's life was a ministry of love, joy, grace, and faith. Hers was such a gentle ministry, not flashy, not boastful, just kind and genuine. Each of us would do well to seek the inspiration of her life to motivate us to not only be better Christians but better human beings. Human beings who love each other and who most of all love our Lord. It is often said that we should live our lives with the understanding that our lives may be the only Bible that someone will ever read.
Hebrews 12:1-3 New International Version (NIV)
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Let us never lose heart, to always remember to smile and gently laugh, even while the world throws it's worst upon us... for we know that beyond all that we see and endure here, that our Lord and our Savior loves us.
Habakkuk 3:17-18 New Century Version (NCV)
17 Fig trees may not grow figs,
and there may be no grapes on the vines.
There may be no olives growing
and no food growing in the fields.
There may be no sheep in the pens
and no cattle in the barns.
18 But I will still be glad in the Lord;
I will rejoice in God my Savior.
On October 8th Joyce Hiler was born into the Kingdom of Heaven and looked not only into the faces of all of her loved ones that have gone on before her but into the very face of God the Father. Praise be to God...
Thank you, dear Lord, for giving us Joyce to know and to love on this earthly journey. Though we shall always miss her, we know that her gentle smile, today lights the very streets of Heaven, and its memory shall long be lit in the hearts and minds of those who loved her so very, very much. Praise be to God.
Closing Prayer:
Prior to the interment at the Rose Hill Cemetery in Rockwell City, the family wishes for you all to join them in further celebration of Joyce's life and a time of shared remembrances and closure, by gathering with them now for lunch in the Church's fellowship hall. The meal that we will enjoy shortly is, as I mentioned during the message, the family's traditional celebration meal of pizza and red cake, please let this time be a celebration of a life well lived. And once again, after the committal services at the cemetery those who wish to visit and reminisce further are invited to Bill and Julie's home. Please allow this closing prayer to serve also as grace for the meal that we are about to share.
Let us please pray:
O God, our Strength, and our Redeemer, Giver of life, and Conqueror of death, we open our hearts to you just as we are. We celebrate your gift of life freely given but are grieved by a sense of loss in the face of death. The love which binds us to one another leaves us aching as ties are broken. Accept our tears as emblems of devotion, and transform them into waters of life to nourish us in the days ahead.
We trust you. We love you. We know in Christ that your love is everlasting. Nothing can separate any of us from your abiding care. With you is eternal life.
With confidence, we now entrust Joyce to your unfailing love and overflowing goodness. Through the power that raised Christ from the dead to live eternally with you, lift up this, your servant, to life fulfilled beyond our imagining. We give you but your own, enfold her in your everlasting arms, hold her for she is your child.
Now strengthen us, through the gift of your Spirit, to face into the future with confidence that you stand with us. Grant that the changes of life may leave us stronger as we journey through life.
Reassured of your abiding presence, help us to knit more firmly the ties that bind us one to another. Renewed by your love, help us to love in ever larger circles so as to embrace your people everywhere till at last we are all united eternally through Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
Benediction:
Postlude:
Committal Service
Selfishly, we as mortals wish to hold on to Joyce. It brings great pain to let her go. Living in the resurrection hope of our Lord Jesus Christ, in the trust of a loving God and in the promise of eternal life, we now commit her body to its place of rest. We will continue to mourn Joyce, but now her smile and laughter will warm the kingdom of God. We will continue to love Joyce, but God will now take care of her. We will continue to carry Joyce in our thoughts, but she will now be kept safe in God's hands. Receive her in the arms of your mercy, O God, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of all your saints.
An excerpt from the 3rd Chapter of Ecclesiastes:
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
Believing in the Resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we now entrust Joyce to the care of Almighty God and we ask Our Father to open the doors to his mansion and lead Joyce to the room made ready just for her. As we now commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we commend her spirit to its new home. Rest eternal grant her; and let light perpetual shine upon her.
God has blessed and enriched our lives in giving us Joyce to know and love here on this earth. Though our time together was not nearly enough, in committing her body to the earth, we give over to God the care of her spirit, and we acknowledge that we will one day reunite with her in God's Kingdom. The Lord bless her and keep her; the Lord make his face shine upon her and be gracious to her; the Lord look upon her with favor and give her peace.
Let us now pray together the prayer that our Lord and Savior taught us to pray... Our Father...
This concludes our graveside service.
May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His strong arms encircle you and uphold you in your hour of grief. God's peace and strength to you all.
Amen
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