Transcript of Funeral for Vera Mae Doty - July 11, 2016

Order of Service – Funeral for Vera Mae Doty

Prelude:  Evelyn Johnson

Procession: Softly & Tenderly

Call to Worship:

O God, who brought us to birth,

and in whose arms we die,

in our grief and shock

contain and comfort us;

embrace us with your love,

give us hope in our confusion

and grace to let go into new life;

through Jesus Christ.  Amen 

Greeting:

Holy God, gathered together we praise your blessed name.

We praise you today for your servant Vera Mae Doty,

and for all that you did through her.

Meet us here in our sadness and mourning,

and fill our hearts with praise and thanksgiving,

for the sake of the One who loves us all... Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen

Special Music: “In the Bulb There Is a Flower” - soloist Steffani Rash

Opening Prayer:

God who creates and re-creates us,

God who laughs with us and weeps with us,

God who walks with us each step of the way, carrying us when our strength fails,

we gather today with hearts breaking with grief, with voices crying out words of lament.

And so we ask that you would move in and around us today.

As we gather to remember and say good bye to Vera Mae,

be the shoulder we can cry on, the arm we can lean on,

help us to see through the veil of tears that there is hope for life continuing.

Gracious God, as mysterious and wondrous as you are,

you are also a compassionate God,

as attentive as a hen with her chicks,

as tender as a mother with a newborn child,

as watchful as a shepherd with the sheep,

as protective as a father’s warm embrace.

and so we come into your presence to grieve Vera's death,

asking that your Holy Spirit would be here to ease our pain.

As we give thanks for all that she added to the lives of those around her,

as we release our tears and sorrow,

as we say our good-byes, remind us that we are not alone, for You are with us...

In Jesus’ all gracious name we pray, Amen. 

Hymn:   Amazing Grace  No. 546 All

Reading from the Old Testament:

Psalm 139: 1-18

1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

    you discern my thoughts from far away.

3 You search out my path and my lying down,

    and are acquainted with all my ways.

4 Even before a word is on my tongue,

    O Lord, you know it completely.

5 You hem me in, behind and before,

    and lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

    it is so high that I cannot attain it.

7 Where can I go from your spirit?

    Or where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there;

    if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

9 If I take the wings of the morning

    and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,

10 even there your hand shall lead me,

    and your right hand shall hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

    and the light around me become night,”

12 even the darkness is not dark to you;

    the night is as bright as the day,

    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For it was you who formed my inward parts;

    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

    Wonderful are your works;

that I know very well.

15     My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.

In your book were written

    all the days that were formed for me,

    when none of them as yet existed.

17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!

    How vast is the sum of them!

18 I try to count them—they are more than the sand;

    I come to the end—I am still with you.

Reading from the New Testament:

1 Peter 1:3-9

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, 5 who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 9 obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 

Hymn:    Great Is Thy Faithfulness  No. 86 All

Message:  Pastor Roy Karlen – Woodlawn Christian Church

Vera Mae Cole was born on August 1, 1925 in Des Moines, Iowa to Frank and Josie Cole.  On June 24, 1946 Vera married Herbert D. Doty at Woodlawn Christian Church, Lake City, she passed from this world into the Kingdom of her Lord on Wednesday, July 6th, 2016 at approximately 1:45 pm.  Vera is survived by her husband Herb, her children Steve, Susan, David, and Dennis; as well as by 11 grandchildren and 21 great-grandchildren.

Vera is also fondly remembered by Jean Eberhard who was a French Foreign exchange student who lived with the Doty family for a year.  To this day Jean calls Vera and Herb, mom and dad.  Jean was especially close to Vera Mae and wanted to travel back to Lake City for the funeral but was prevented from doing so due to health concerns.  He wished to share the following correspondence sent to Susan with Herb and the rest of the family at this time:

“Whenever you can dear Susan, whisper to my exceptional AFS mother's ear that 4,300 miles away from Lake City, Jean and his family (Anne-Marie, Laurent and Thomas) are in deep sorrow.  Tell her that wherever we go I always tell people how proud I am to have shared the life of the Doty's family.  I miss her and wish I could be there with all of you for her last journey.  Take care of dad. Love. Jean”

Vera Mae was always very, very proud of Lake City.  Her children said she at times seemed to think that the world stopped at the edge of town.  Susan remembered how when Jean was here as an exchange student how Vera made sure to take him up and show him the fountain in the town square.  She was so proud of it and wanted Jean to see how beautiful it was and is.  Later when the family went to France to see Jean and were taken to see some of the unbelievably impressive fountains found in Europe, they asked (I assume in Vera's absence) how he could be so accommodating and admire the comparatively modest fountain in Lake City, Jean told them that he knew it was important to Vera and that was all that mattered.  Vera Mae was proud of Lake City, and indeed she had a right to be.

As I said Vera Mae was very fond of Jean and they had a wonderful relationship, the children expressed to me that perhaps she was even more fond of Jean than she was of her own children.  Though I am certain that could not be the case.  The entire Doty family became very close to Jean during his stay with them that year and Susan and Steve relayed how much the entire family cried when taking Jean to the airport.  The family had planned to stop and eat at a restaurant on the way home but they discovered that they were all too upset to stop and eat.  Everyone that is except for Dennis who wondered why everyone was so worked up, “we'll see Jean again” he told them.  It seems Dennis was right and Susan commented that if they'd have all known how many times they would see Jean that they'd have gone out to eat that day.

The family (in David's absence) relayed to me how David was always the favorite.  And how even long after he'd gotten too big for Vera's lap he wanted to sit on his mother's lap.  In reality, do we ever get so big or so old that we don't want to sit and be comforted once again by our loving mother.  I remember my grandfather telling me when he was closing in on the century mark that he wished just one more time he could lay his head on his mother's lap and feel her stroke his hair.  I'm sure today David, as big as he is... would love to be able to sit with his mother one more time.

Vera's father Frank passed away when she was only three, and her mother passed away during Vera's Junior year in High School.  At that time she went to live with her grandmother Mary Holm.  During High School Vera was selected as Lake City's very first Homecoming Queen.  I have to say Herb that I saw Vera's High School graduation picture last night at the visitation, she was a beautiful young woman... Herb, you did very well my friend.  After High School graduation Vera received training at Buena Vista University to teach country school.  Vera taught at Lake Creek School #4 for several years before she and Herb were married on  June 24, 1946.  You'll have to press Herb for more details on the proposal but it seems that Vera Mae more or less pressed the point.  At any length it apparently was a match made in heaven for Herb and Vera celebrated shortly before her passing their 70th wedding anniversary.  What an incredible testimony to all of us, as I said Herb you did very... well.

Herb was enlisted in the Army at the time of their marriage and for the first year of their union they lived in Battle Creek, Michigan were Herb was stationed at Fort Custer working as an orderly and caring for wounded soldiers still recovering from World War II.  While they were in Michigan Vera Mae worked at the cosmetic counter at a local dime store.

Once back home in Lake City, Vera worked for many, many years at the Hardware store as it passed through several different ownership's.

In visiting with Herb and the family it seemed like Vera was involved in an impossible number of organizations here in Lake City and then to top it off she was involved in even more groups down in Arizona where she and Herb spent a total of 18 winters.  Just a partial list and I do mean partial as I wasn't able to keep up with writing them down and the family confessed to not being able to immediately recalling all of the activities:

Central School, AFS or foreign student exchange program, the Hospital board, the Hospital auxiliary, Red Hat club, Music Boosters, Village Square Theater, the snack bar at the Hospital, Meals on Wheels, a number of other activities and groups at the school, songbirds in Arizona, and many, many more.  Marj Burley shared with me last night that if there was a board or a committee then Vera was on it.  

Vera loved to read to her children and grandchildren.  She apparently was a big fan of cabbage patch kids and got them for all her grandchildren.

I heard a great many stories about Vera from her family and I simply don't have time to relay them all to you this morning, but that's just as well... for you really should hear them from the family themselves.  Of all the stories the family told one thing was abundantly clear.  Vera loved her Lord and she loved this Church.  Vera first came to Woodlawn as a child in the company of John and Kerri Lee who were long-time and active members here.  On June 10th, 1934, Vera was baptized right here in this baptistery, which has changed very little since then, by Reverend Weakland.  She was for many, many years a leader for the Christian Women here at Woodlawn.  She taught Vacation Bible School and Sunday School and helped with the youth group.

Vera had a great love for her Lord, even though she certainly faced many difficulties in her life not the least of which was the death of both her parents while still a child, Vera stayed faithful to her God.  Jim Bruce told me that the one word he thought of to describe Vera Mae was resilient, she never gave up.  Vera's children mentioned sacrifice and service as descriptions for Vera Mae, she sacrificed for and served not only her family, but her Church, and the Lake City Community.  As I said earlier, she loved this little town and she was very proud of it.

Vera loved her family, she loved her Church, she loved her Community and she loved helping and serving others.  As I said earlier, Herb and Vera Mae were married for 70 years, she loved Herb and I know first hand how much Herb loved her.  I have watched him console her and comfort her fears and tears while she was in the memory unit at Shady Oaks, and on Wednesday morning it broke my heart to sit with him while he held her hand and stroked her arm.  She knew he was there, and she knew just how much he loved her.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)

13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,[a] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly,[b] but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Today we gather to celebrate the life of and mourn the passing of Vera Mae Doty.  Though each of her family, friends and loved ones here today feel the heavy weight of sorrow in their hearts... each of us are at the same time filled with an over-whelming sense of joy and celebration for Vera's entry into Heaven.  On July 6th Vera Mae passed from this world but was born anew in the Kingdom of the Lord she loved and served so tirelessly.  Praise be to God!

The one thing that I have yet to mention is how many funerals and other occasions Vera Mae sang for here in this Sanctuary.  She along with Evelyn Johnson and Muriel Pierce sang for literally countless events.  Today, we are singing more hymns than I normally include for a funeral but we do so as a tribute to the wonderful ministry that Vera provided to this Church and it's members, along with her dear friends, Muriel and Evelyn.  Each of the hymns sung as a congregation this morning was selected by Evelyn in Vera's honor.  As we lift up our voices and sing, perhaps if we strain our ears... just maybe, just maybe... in some corner of this sanctuary... maybe... we'll yet hear a distant echo of Vera's voice singing right along.

Let us join together now and sing from the page that you were given as you entered the sanctuary.  Let us sing in Vera's memory... “Beyond the Sunset”, please let us sing all of the verses.

Hymn:  Beyond the Sunset  (Insert)

Closing Prayer:

Following the interment at Lake City Cemetery, the family invites you all to join them in further celebration of Vera's life and a time of shared remembrances and closure, by gathering with them for lunch in the Church's fellowship hall. For those who do not wish to attend the graveside service, please feel free to remain behind and wait here at the Church.  Let us allow this prayer to serve as grace for our meal.

Let us pray:

O God, our Strength and our Redeemer, Giver of life, and Conqueror of death, we open our hearts to you just as we are.  We celebrate your gift of life freely given, but are grieved by a sense of loss in the face of death.  The love which binds us to one another leaves us aching as ties are broken.  Accept our tears as emblems of devotion, and transform them into waters of life to nourish us in the days ahead.

We trust you.  We love you.  We know in Christ that your love is everlasting.  Nothing can separate any of us from your abiding care.  With you is eternal life.

With confidence we now entrust Vera Mae to your unfailing love and overflowing goodness.  Through the power that raised Christ from the dead to live eternally with you, lift up this, your servant, to life fulfilled beyond our imagining.  We give you but your own, enfold her in your everlasting arms, hold her for she is your child.

Now strengthen us, through the gift of your Spirit, to face into the future with confidence that you stand with us.  Grant that the changes of life may leave us stronger as we journey through life.

Reassured of your abiding presence, help us to knit more firmly the ties that bind us one to another.  Renewed by your love, help us to love in ever larger circles so as to embrace your people everywhere till at last we are all united eternally through Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

Benediction:

Exit Hymn:  Abide With Me No. 636 All

Committal Service

Selfishly, we as mortals wish to hold on to Vera. It brings great pain to let her go. Living in the resurrection hope of our Lord Jesus Christ, in the trust of a loving God and in the promise of eternal life, we now commit her body to its place of rest. We will continue to mourn Vera, but now her laughter will warm the kingdom of God. We will continue to love Vera, but God will now take care of her. We will continue to carry Vera in our thoughts, but she will be kept safe in God's hands. Receive her in the arms of your mercy, O God, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of all your saints.

A reading from the 3rd Chapter of Ecclesiastes:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

Believing in the Resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we now entrust Vera to the care of Almighty God and we ask Our Father to open the doors to his mansion and lead Vera Mae to the room made ready just for her. As we now commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we commend her spirit to its new home. Rest eternal grant her; and let light perpetual shine upon her.

God has blessed and enriched our lives in giving us Vera Mae to know and love here on this earth. Though our time together was not nearly enough, in committing her body to the earth, we give over to God the care of her spirit, and we acknowledge that we will one day reunite with her in God's Kingdom. The Lord bless her and keep her; the Lord make his face shine upon her and be gracious to her; the Lord look upon her with favor and give her peace.

Let us now pray together the prayer that our Lord and Savior taught us to pray....

This concludes our graveside service.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His strong arms encircle you and uphold you in your hour of grief.  God's peace and strength to you all.

Amen