Good Morning,
Today I am compelled to reflect on what I look forward to in my future ministry with the most enthusiasm and the most anxiety. That is the joining of two people in the holy bonds of matrimony. Sadly it has never been my experience that ministers do an adequate job of premarital counseling and advising (and there is certainly no maintenance provided). This is an area in which I fully intend to spend several sessions meeting with the engaged couple and pushing them to reveal to each other their very most deeply held wishes and hopes for the marriage. The couple also needs to be armed with methods for conflict resolution, and much, much more.
I hope to convey to them the very depth of the covenant that they are not only making with each other but to God himself. It is a time of absolute joy, but young (and old) couples need to understand the great gravity of the act of coming before God and man and making a Holy Covenant.
For me the fact that I am being asked to perform the wedding means that I too am a member of the cast in this marriage. And as I discussed with my fellow ELM student Chuck Snow on our way back from Hastings the other day, I fully intend to insist that any and all couples I might wed to sign an agreement with me personally. This agreement would be a solemn oath given from them to me and witnessed by the Almighty that before they would ever even consider divorce or separation that they will spend a minimum of four counseling sessions with me personally. I may even go as far as to make them pledge further sessions if I deem they are required. My mind plays with the idea as well of asking them to spend a session with me annually to discuss how the marriage is doing.
I fully intend to come off heavy handed on this regard as I have very deeply held convictions and opinions on marriage. I feel there is no greater responsibility that I will bear upon my shoulders as a future minister and advocate to my loving God than to join people in a life together and it is my job to set the stage for them to be successful. If I am unable to give them a greater chance at a successful marriage than the local judge then I have no business being involved nor for that matter presenting myself as an emissary of Christ.
May you all find peace, joy and love.
Roy
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