Funeral for Betty Ann Carroll - January 2, 2018

Today I officiated at the funeral for Betty Ann Carroll.  Betty was not a member of our congregation but she and her husband Ralph grew up here in the Lake City area.  Ralph passed away in 1974 and is buried at Cottonwood Cemetery and so that is where Betty was laid to rest today as well.

I have attached the manuscript from the funeral below for Betty's family and friends.  May God bless and comfort you all during those difficult days ahead.

As always... Be a blessing to someone today!

In Christ,
Roy

Order of Service – 
Funeral for Betty Ann Carroll

Welcome:
A loved one is a treasure of the heart and losing a loved one is like losing a piece of yourself, but the love that Betty brought each of you did not leave, for the essence of her soul still lingers.  It cannot escape your hearts, for it has been there forever. Cling to the memories and let them find their way to heal you. The love and laughter, the joy in the togetherness you shared, will make you strong. You will come to realize that your time together, no matter how long, was meant to be and you were blessed to have the precious gift of her love in your lives. Keep your hearts beating with the loving memories and trust in your faith to guide you through. Know that though life moves on... the beauty of love stays behind to embrace you. Your loved one... Betty has left you that love... her love, to hold in your hearts forever. 

Today, we have come together within the strengthening fellowship of friends and family, to praise God for the life of Betty Ann Carroll ;
to share our grief with God and with one another;
to reaffirm our faith in God's unfailing goodness;
to hear again God's promise of resurrection;
and to commend Betty to God's everlasting care.

Music: Rock of Ages

Opening Prayer:
Gracious God, your love endures forever.  Your faithfulness is unfailing and all your promises are true.  The movement of your Spirit is evident even in our darkest moments.  Attend to us now in our grief as we trust you will.  Speak words of comfort to our hearts.  Open us up to receive your hope. O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our sister Betty. We thank you for giving her to us, her family and friends, to know and to love as a companion on our earthly pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn. Give us faith to see death as the gateway to eternal life, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on earth until by your call, we are reunited with those who have gone before; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Let us hear now a reading from the Old Testament:  

Psalm 23  King James Version (KJV)
23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Let us hear now a reading from the New Testament:

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NRSV)
13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Pastoral Prayer:
Let us please pray: God our Father, Your power brings us to birth, Your providence guides our lives, and by Your command, we return to dust.  Lord, those who die still live in Your presence, their lives change but do not end. I pray in hope for this family, relatives, and friends, and for all the dead known to You alone.  In company with Christ, Who died and Who now lives, may they rejoice in Your kingdom, where all our tears are wiped away. Unite us together again in one family, to sing Your praise forever and ever.  Amen.
Music:     Just As I Am, Without One Plea

Message:  Pastor Roy Karlen – Woodlawn Christian Church

On December 29th, 2017, Betty Ann Carroll passed from this world in which we live and into the Kingdom of God.  Betty passed away at the Southfield Nursing Home in Webster City, IA, but Betty was born right here in Lake City, IA on December 10th, 1928 to George & Emma Higgins.  She married Ralph Carroll on March 13th, 1948 in Jackson, MN.  Betty is survived by her sons David and his partner Jun, by Dennis and his wife Jackie, and by her daughter Janice.  She is also survived by five grandchildren and five great-grandchildren.  Betty was preceded in death by her parents, her husband Ralph, her daughter Judy, and by her brothers and sisters.

When I asked David for words to describe his mother he said, sweet, hardworking, that she loved to play cards, and that she loved to cook.  She was a good cook and used her love of cooking combined with her hard-working nature to work through the years at Lake City Cafe, the Gowrie Nursing Home, Webster City Golf Course, the Fort Dodge YWCA, and the Burnside Elementary School.

David recalled that Betty was also a good seamstress and that she even made several wedding dresses.  Betty made clothes for the girls and tried to make clothes for the boys, but the boys didn't want to wear them and have to admit to their friends that they were wearing outfits their mom had made.

Betty and Ralph first lived in Fort Dodge, then moved to Harcourt, where all of the children graduated from High School. It was while living in Harcourt that Ralph passed away so long ago in 1974.  Later Betty moved with her daughter Judy to Webster City, next they moved to Fort Dodge, and then finally four years ago David moved both his mother Betty and his sister Judy into the nursing home in Webster City.

David remembers his mother as a quiet, reserved woman, who always worked hard.  He did, however, remember her once trying to discipline him by spanking him, all that happened was she broke the yardstick that she tried to use to spank him.  David said after that she never tried to spank him again, likely because she didn't want to waste any more yardsticks.

David also shared a story about going shopping with his mother one time in Fort Dodge.  While they were shopping she managed to hit seven cars in various parking lots. David stated that she was well known to be a terrible driver.  In fact, it was after an accident approximately ten years ago that she surrendered her license.  Sadly, David also shared that it was shortly after this that Betty started to decline.

The family attended the Methodist Church while living in Harcourt.  It was there that David recalled a particular Mother's Day when Betty had repeatedly told the children to not purchase anything for her for Mother's Day. When Mother's Day rolled around the children had listened to their mother and didn't get Betty any gifts.  Betty was so upset she said that she couldn't possibly go to Church, that she would be too embarrassed if anyone asked her what the children had given her. The moral of the story... never listen to your mother when she says you don't need to get her a gift. It's a wonderful story and hopefully, the family will share more stories like this later as we enjoy a time of shared memories over lunch today.

David shared with me that Betty had a great life, that she had a loving family, a wonderful husband, and that she was so very proud that her children had all turned out so well.  She was always very supportive of her family and so very proud of them all.  

Betty was a loving great-grandmother, grandmother, mother, and wife.  A wonderful woman and a treasure to her family.  Let me share with you all these words written by the Author of Proverbs:

Proverbs 31:10-30
Ode to a Capable Wife
10 A capable wife who can find?
    She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
    and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant,
    she brings her food from far away.
15 She rises while it is still night
    and provides food for her household
    and tasks for her servant-girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
    and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
    Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
    and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor,
    and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
    for all her household are clothed in crimson.
22 She makes herself coverings;
    her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the city gates,
    taking his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
    she supplies the merchant with sashes.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
    and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
    and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her happy;
    her husband too, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Today we mourn the passing of Betty Ann Carroll...
When you lose someone you love, your life becomes strange, the ground beneath you becomes fragile.  Your heart has grown heavy with loss; and though this loss has wounded others too... no one knows what has been taken from you when the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret for all that was left unsaid or undone.  There will be days when you wake up happy once again and inside feel the fullness of life... until that moment breaks and you will be thrown back into the black waves of loss.  Days when you will have your heart back, and you are able to function well... when suddenly with no warning, you become ambushed by grief.  It becomes hard to trust yourself, and all you can depend on is that sorrow will remain faithful to itself.  More than you, it knows its way and will find the right time to pull back the curtain of grief.  And when the work of grief is done, the wound of loss will heal and you will have learned to wean your mind from that gap in your heart and be able to enter that deep place in your soul where your loved one has awaited your return all along.

Though all of you gathered today shall miss Betty, you should all rest assured that this is only a temporary parting and that you'll each get to see Betty's smile once again when you are reunited in Heaven.  Praise be to God.  Today Betty is reunited with all of her friends and family that have gone on before her, and today she is in the very presence of our almighty and all-loving God... Praise be to God indeed...

Music: It Is Well With My Soul

Closing Prayer:
Due to the extremely cold weather today, we will conduct the entire committal service here at the funeral home.  We will continue directly into the committal service immediately after this closing prayer.  Please allow this closing prayer to serve as 'Grace' for the meal that we will share together at the close of this service.

Let us pray, O God, our Strength and our Redeemer, Giver of life, and Conqueror of death, we open our hearts to you just as we are.  We celebrate your gift of life freely given, but are grieved by a sense of loss in the face of death.  The love which binds us to one another leaves us aching as ties are broken.  Accept our tears as emblems of devotion, and transform them into waters of life to nourish us in the days ahead.


We trust you.  We love you.  We know in Christ that your love is everlasting.  Nothing can separate any of us from your abiding care.  With you is eternal life.

With confidence, we now entrust Betty to your unfailing love and overflowing goodness.  Through the power that raised Christ from the dead to live eternally with you, lift up this, your servant, to life fulfilled beyond our imagining.  We give you but your own, enfold her in your everlasting arms, hold her for she is your child.

Now strengthen us, through the gift of your Spirit, to face into the future with confidence that you stand with us.  Grant that the changes of life may leave us stronger as we journey through life.

Reassured of your abiding presence, help us to knit more firmly the ties that bind us one to another.  Renewed by your love, help us to love in ever larger circles so as to embrace your people everywhere till at last we are all united eternally through Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.


Committal Service:

Selfishly, we as mortals wish to hold on to Betty. It brings great pain to let her go. Living in the resurrection hope of our Lord Jesus Christ, in the trust of a loving God and in the promise of eternal life, we now commit her body to its place of rest. We will continue to mourn Betty, but now her laughter will warm the kingdom of God. We will continue to love Betty, but God will now take care of her. We will continue to carry Betty in our thoughts, but she will now be kept safe in God's hands. Receive her in the arms of your mercy, O God, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of all your saints.

1 Corinthians 15:50-57  New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
50 What I am saying, brothers and sisters, is this: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed, 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 54 When this perishable body puts on imperishability, and this mortal body puts on immortality, then the saying that is written will be fulfilled:
“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
55 “Where, O death, is your victory?
    Where, O death, is your sting?”
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Believing in the Resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we now entrust Betty to the care of our Almighty God and we ask our Father to open the doors to his mansion and lead Betty to the room made ready just for her. As we now commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we commend her spirit to its new home. Rest eternal grant her; and let light perpetual shine upon her.

God has blessed and enriched our lives in giving us Betty to know and love here on this earth. Though our time together was not nearly enough, in committing her body to the earth, we give over to God the care of her spirit, and we acknowledge that we will one day reunite with her in God's Kingdom. The Lord bless her and keep her; the Lord make his face shine upon her and be gracious to her; the Lord look upon her with favor and give her peace.

This concludes our graveside service.

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His strong arms encircle you and uphold you in your hour of grief.  God's peace and strength to you all.
Amen


Music:     Amazing Grace