Funeral for Phyllis Alcox - June 13th 2016

On June 13th, we held the funeral for Phyllis Alcox here at Woodlawn Christian Church.  Phyllis and her husband Mel had been long term members at Woodlawn and it was with a heavy heart that we laid her to rest last Monday.

I apologize for the delay on getting the transcript for the funeral online.  Please if you are another minister searching for material in preparation for a funeral, feel free to borrow and adapt any part of this service to fit your needs.

In His constant love & grace.
Roy

ps: Be a blessing to someone today!!

Order of Service – Funeral for Phyllis Alcox

Prelude:

Entrance:

Call to Worship:

Gathered in Christ's name, let us praise God

Who is our certain hope in all life's varied circumstances.

In the face of death believe the good news the scriptures proclaim:

As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you.

(Isaiah 66:13)

Greeting:

We have come together within the strengthening fellowship of friends and family:

to praise God for the life of Phyllis Ann Alcox;

to share our grief with God and with one another;

to reaffirm our faith in God's unfailing goodness;

to hear again God's promise of resurrection;

and to commend Phyllis to God's everlasting care.

Opening Hymn: Softly and Tenderly No. 340 All

Opening Prayer:

Dear God, You are our Creator. You are the author of each of our lives, this life which is such a precious gift... given freely to us. We come today to commemorate and honor the life of your child Phyllis, a life that was precious to each of us gathered here today. As we mourn the passing life that is no longer with us, we are aching from a void that has been created in our heart. We lift up our sadness and grief to you and we ask for your comfort and care. Lord, we ask that you would comfort us in our pain, and bring us an abundance of your gentle healing mercies. Holy Father, we praise you for Phyllis's life and for all that it has meant to so many here in this world. Let us even now as we mourn, celebrate the beauty that she brought into this world that is Yours. A world without beginning and a world without end.
In Jesus holy name we pray,
Amen

A Reading From the Old Testament:

Psalm 23 King James Version (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Hymn: The Old Rugged Cross No. 548 All

The Gospel Reading:

Hear these words from Jesus found in the 14^th Chapter of the Gospel of John:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled.

Believe in God, believe also in me.

In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.

If it were not so,

Would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?

And if I go and prepare a place for you,

I will come again and will take you to myself,

So that where I am, there you may be also.

And you know the way to the place where I am going.

I will not leave you orphaned; I am coming to you.

In a little while the world will no longer see me,

But you will see me;

Because I live, you also will live.

I have said these things to you while I am still with you.

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit,

Whom the Father will send in my name,

Will teach you everything,

And remind you of all that I have said to you.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.

I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

(John 14:1 – 4, 18 – 19, 25 – 27)

Hymn: Amazing Grace No. 546 All

Message: Pastor Roy Karlen – Woodlawn Christian Church

Phyllis Alcox passed from this world into the Kingdom of our Lord on June 5, 2016. She was born Phyllis Ann Sterba in Iowa City, Iowa on June 20, 1941 to Henry and Lenora Sterba. Her father was a farmer and she grew up as a farm girl. They raised hogs, chickens and milked cows on their farm located NW of West Branch, Iowa. Phyllis's father had really hoped to have a son but ended up with three daughters instead. While in school, she participated in band playing the French Horn and belonged to the local 4H club where raising rabbits and sewing were her passions. After graduation from West Branch High School in 1959, she attended a two-year X-ray Technologist program at St. Luke’s Hospital in Cedar Rapids. She moved to Lake City after graduation where she worked at Stewart Memorial Community Hospital and McCrary-Rost Clinic for 43 years until she retired in 2004.

Shortly after moving to Lake City, Phyllis's car needed repair, one of the Doctors at the hospital directed her to go to Mel's father's garage. Mel told how when Phyllis first moved to Lake City she had a 56 Chevy, but that she had ordered before leaving Cedar Rapids, a 61 Chevy Bel, it was a Air Bubble Top even though she had wanted a flat roof. When the car arrived she went to pick it up and while she was returning to Lake City with her new car she got a flat tire and forgot to disengage the emergency brake after changing the tire. When she got home to Lake City she had to take her new car to Mel for new brakes, Mel questioned her about needing brakes on a brand new car but soon realized what had happened. Something about this exchange must have been endearing... because shortly after this they began dating.

Mel told me that their first real date was going to the Dayton Rodeo on Labor Day weekend of 1961. Mel and Phyllis were united in marriage on July 7, 1963 at West Branch United Methodist Church in West Branch, Iowa. Phyllis and Melvin raised two children together, Kevin and Traci. Sadly, their daughter Traci Ann Alcox Mason passed away on June 16, 2010. Indeed the month of June has not been kind to the Alcox family.

The young couple soon purchased a home, the home that they still own on Center Street here in Lake City. Mel bought the home for $6,000 but they had to do some work on the house before moving in, so for a while they rented a home on the south side of Lake City. Through the years the house has been remodeled and added onto of course but it's the same home where they lived for so very many years of marriage.

When I asked Kevin and Mel to give me a word or two that described Phyllis, they said compassionate, conscientious, social and in our visit the other day Kevin added 'concerned'. She was oriented towards helping others and to caring for others. Phyllis was concerned for others when they were ill or there was a death. She made sure to get cards out to let folks know that she was thinking about them and praying for their situation.

She worked hard through the years to maintain contact with their relatives on both the Sterba and Alcox sides of the family. When Mel was injured she literally kept him going by caring for him, always making sure to follow the care instructions to the letter. Kevin and Mel said she quite simply kept Mel alive through these difficult times. She was a persistent and determined caregiver and pushed Mel to get better and to do what needed to be done to heal his body. Unfortunately, Phyllis like many from the health care world was a much better caregiver than she was a patient. She was very good at guiding care for others, she wasn't so good at accepting that guidance for caring for herself.

Phyllis was always concerned about her children and made sure that even though Kevin's birthday is on Christmas Eve that he had a birthday. She also traveled to see her children, first to Florida when Kevin lived there than to Colorado and to Houston to see her daughter Traci.

Phyllis had long wanted to go to Hawaii and thankfully, in 2013 she, Mel and Kevin along with his wife and son took a trip to Hawaii to fulfill this lifelong dream. It was fortunate that they did so for just the next year Mel would have his accident which would have complicated that adventure considerably.

In talking to people about Phyllis I learned that she made a particularly delicious Custard Pie, I was told that she was always requested to bring them for the Church's Soup Suppers. In fact she was encouraged to bring two or even three pies to these events. Once she was busy working on her pie and dropped the nutmeg, which she was unable to find. Well, after taking this pie to the Church, Jim Bruce found her nutmeg in his piece of pie and returned it to her. Leave it to Jim to appreciate fresh ingredients in cooking.

Phyllis was an active member of the CWF here at Woodlawn for all the many years that she was a member.

Linda Stotts told me how she first met Phyllis 51 years ago when they both worked at the hospital, Phyllis as an X-ray technician and Linda as a Lab and X-ray assistant. They formed a fast and long friendship.

Linda told me of all the many outings they had with motorcycles, 4-wheelers, snowmobiles, all the dances they went to, and all the dance lessons they attended together with their spouses. Phyllis and Mel took ballroom dancing lessons and even disco dancing lessons. This group of friends that went dancing together went all over the area attending dances.

I learned that on one of their snowmobile outings that in the cabin where they stayed Mel and Phyllis had the blanket on their bed actually freeze to the wall during the night. Another story had to do with harvesting icicles to provide ice for their drinks. Closer to home, Linda told me about a night at the Wagon Wheel when a hypnotist was performing and Mel went up to be hypnotized. It sounded like this group had so many wonderful times together and so many fantastic memories to share as a result.

Phyllis enjoyed playing bridge, and sewing. She was a good seamstress and always had her sewing machine set up and ready. Linda also told how Phyllis actually enjoyed ironing clothes, and that she had confessed to taking clothes out of the closet and repressing them. Mel told me how she moved a suitcase full of things to be mended with her to Colorado. Sadly, many of those mending projects never where completed and remain in that same suitcase.

Mel and Kevin had relayed to me that Phyllis did have a bit of an element of vanity, and Linda confirmed this with a wonderful story of one of her memories about Phyllis. A story of how when the two of them were working together in x-ray that Phyllis would have Linda pull out any gray hairs she had. This apparently went on until the gray outnumbered the rest.

There are many more stories that you need to talk to Mel or Kevin about, stories about how Phyllis dumped a BMW motorcycle while going down the highway in 1970, stories of why she was afraid of storms and so many more.

So, we celebrate today a life that knew so many good times with friends and family, a life that has left so many with such wonderful memories and stories. Those gathered here today will always miss Phyllis, but they will also always carry a bit of her along with them in their memories.

Phyllis seemed to love life and lived a life of caring for and loving others.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends

Corinthians Chapter 13

The Holy Scriptures are filled with many, many, many references of love. We are called not just to love our Lord, but to love our fellow man, along with all of God's creation. One of my all time favorite passages of scripture is;

2 John 5-6New Century Version (NCV)

5 And now, dear lady, this is not a new command but is the same command we have had from the beginning. I ask you that we all love each other. 6 And love means living the way God commanded us to live. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is this: Live a life of love.

Phyllis lived a life or concern for others, a life of love for others.

Please join with me now in praying the prayer that our Lord Jesus Christ taught to us, using the words 'sin':

Our Father....

Reflections:

Kevin Alcox

Closing Prayer:

Following this service of remembrance, the family invites you all to join them in further celebration of Phyllis's life and a time of shared memories and closure, by gathering with them for lunch in the Church's fellowship hall. Let us allow this closing prayer to serve as 'Grace' for that shared meal. A shared meal to strengthen not only our bodies, but our spirits and our very souls as well.

Let us pray:

O God, our Strength and our Redeemer, Giver of life, and Conqueror of death, we open our hearts to you just as we are. We celebrate your gift of life freely given, but are grieved by a sense of loss in the face of death. The love which binds us to one another leaves us aching as ties are broken. Accept our tears as emblems of devotion, and transform them into waters of life to nourish us in the days ahead.

We trust you. We love you. We know in Christ that your love is everlasting. Nothing can separate any of us from your abiding care. With you is eternal life.

With confidence we now entrust Phyllis to your unfailing love and overflowing goodness. Through the power that raised Christ from the dead to live eternally with you, lift up this, your servant, to life fulfilled beyond our imagining. We give you but your own, enfold her in your everlasting arms, hold her for she is your child.

Now strengthen us, through the gift of your Spirit, to face into the future with confidence that you stand with us. Grant that the changes of life may leave us stronger as we journey through life.

Reassured of your abiding presence, help us to knit more firmly the ties that bind us one to another. Renewed by your love, help us to love in ever larger circles so as to embrace your people everywhere till at last we are all united eternally through Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Benediction:

Postlude: Dire Straits "Walk of Life"